Farewell, Father Dearest.

I started my father’s health journal ever since he was diagnosed with GIST in July 2014. The medication he took managed to control the tumour, and his condition was stable. He had been taking it for the last ten years. He was on a targeted treatment, and it was a potent drug. Due to the long-term use of the drug and other medicines, coupled with his age, his kidney suffered. The creatinine reading started to rise in 2021 and kept increasing. He used to exercise every morning, which helped keep his body perform optimally. However, Covid hit the entire world in 2020. Since then, he stopped exercising due to the movement control order. Then, his muscles became weaker. He felt pain in his right hip, which made walking a challenge. He ended up using a walking stick, then advanced to a walker, and finally, being wheeled around made it effortless for him to move around. 

If anyone asked me, I’d say that my father enjoyed his whole life and travelled to places he liked to go (pre-Covid). I was glad he went to London and Washington before the pandemic hit us. After that, the travel plans that we had did not materialise. Nonetheless, he was one jolly good fellow and strong-willed. Unfortunately, the body could not keep up.

The year 2024 has been challenging for my father. He was admitted to the hospital after experiencing coffee-ground vomitus. But I ensured we celebrated his 61^st Wedding anniversary on 01/01/2024 before going to the ER. I knew he would have wanted it. The close examination showed that he had a bleeding ulcer in the stomach. At that time, his doctors felt he was a strong man in his mid-80s. Beginning in June 2024, he was losing his appetite. My father was a very private person when it came to his health.  He wanted to appear OK so we didn’t have to worry about his well-being.

In July, he was admitted to the hospital twice. In between, he went back to celebrate his birthday. He didn’t want to celebrate it, but I insisted.  I had always celebrated his birthday without fail, and I would not change that. I hoped having us around would cheer him up and inject positivity into him. However, his condition didn’t look too good with the constant throwing up bile, eating and drinking less by the day; I decided to bring him back with me and took him to the ER. He was dehydrated and put on a drip. His doctors were not happy with his creatinine readings. Therefore, we decided to go ahead with the AV fistula surgery in the event kidney dialysis became necessary. Upon discharge, we monitored his diet for a week. When we returned to see the doctor, his nephrologist suggested to dialyse him, but he refused. So, the doctor fixed the subsequent follow-up to be in two weeks. Mum persuaded me to let him go home, and he promised to be back in two weeks to see the doctors. I reluctantly agreed since I wanted him to feel comfortable and happier in his space.  I had wished that he stayed back to celebrate my birthday with me. He left a day earlier.

Three days later,  my father was admitted to the ER back home. His condition wasn’t good at all. He was so frail and continued to throw up bile. From the colour and smell, with my little knowledge, I suspected it could be blood. The doctor prepared him for dialysis, and he had to fast until then. My son and I managed to visit him a day after his admission to the hospital. He was already frail.  But I was glad we got to be with him then. When we left and promised to return in three days, he gave us an “ok” and fist bumped us. 

One night, I dreamt that he had passed on. I woke up to my soft sobs and tears on my face. In the morning, I googled the meaning of such a dream. It meant I needed to change spiritually or let go of old views or habits. It could also mean that I needed to accept death as a part of life’s journey. I would openly acknowledge the change but not the death. As always, I believed that my father would get through it again.

I was supposed to go back to visit him on Friday, but at dawn, my brother contacted my husband to inform that his oxygen level started to decline and his heart became very weak. The medical staff did their best to make him comfortable, but he took his last breath with Mum and my younger brother at his side. I was told that it rained heavily that fateful morning. I didn’t know what to feel. I felt as if my soul had left my body. I couldn’t think about the loss, and I felt ‘empty’. When I started reconnecting with my brain, I began thinking more rationally than emotionally. It was like I locked my emotions in another room for later and focused on what needed to be done. I was calm. Strangely. I never imagined how I would feel when the time came when I lost my father. 

The thought that came to my mind was that he had fought a good fight. He crossed his 10^th GIST anniversary, celebrated his wedding anniversary and birthday and passed my birthday. I believe he had hung on for as long as he could. Father had always been a fighter, a survivor, no matter what life threw at him. And I was relieved that he did not have to prolong his suffering. Try to imagine not being able to drink water and eat anything. He became so weak that he could not sit up anymore. Seeing that he had given up meant he no longer had the strength to continue his journey on this earth. We could feel it, but we didn’t want to face it. I selfishly hoped and prayed that he would cross this hurdle and emerge stronger. However, I also did not want him to suffer at all. If he had to go, I wanted him to leave peacefully, knowing that we would be fine and that we would take great care of mummy. I also consoled myself that I had done my very best for him. I wished I could do much more and longer. I wished he could be there when I graduated with my PhD. All in all, I hoped he was happy and contented.

His final moments were rather magical, and everything moved smoothly around him until the final send-off. The sky cried for him. Father was a thoughtful, irreplaceable, respectable, precious, and virtuous gentleman. He was my role model, mentor, and the world’s greatest dad. He is now in a good place. I know that he’ll continue to look over us from above. Father, I love you, and you shall live forever in my heart. Also, I choose not to mourn. Instead, to celebrate his life. I know he wanted me to do so.

Lastly, on behalf of my family, I would like to express our gratitude to all who had met him and made a difference to his life all these years. For the service providers, that you for your service and tender loving care. May God bless you 🙏

Cheers,

Forever Daddy’s Girl ❤️

Movement Control Order and I

In Malaysia, the first Restricted Movement Order (RMO) was implemented as a preventive measure towards the COVID-19 pandemic on March 18 for a period of 14 days throughout the country. People were advised to stay at home and not to be in crowded places. If necessary, we could still go out to stock up on the essentials, go to the banks and to the restaurants to buy food (to-go; no sit-in dining was allowed). We were constantly reminded to observe social distancing by staying 1 meter away from one another, sanitise and wear face masks when we’re out in public areas, then go home as soon as possible. The rather soft approach was ineffective as most Malaysians disregard the RMO. They continued with their daily activities, attended meetings, conventions and assemblies, hanging out with friends, going to parties, etc.

Since the number of new cases continues to increase by more than a hundred a day, our prime minister has no alternative but to immediately enhance measures for Phase 2 of Movement Control Order (MCO) by extending it until April 14. During this time, anyone who needs to enter another part of town will have to produce an official letter indicating the purpose for traveling. Roadblocks are set up manned by the police as well as armed forces. This is not to arrest everyone found driving on the roads but taken as a measure to discourage people from going out unnecessarily. Police are driving around to advise people to return to their homes instantly. Commercial premises are closed except for essential services. Effective April 1, new business hours for all establishments, including grocers, supermarkets, restaurants, petrol stations shall be from 8am till 8pm throughout the MCO period. Going out will be one-person one car or another (if the situation/condition calls for it). The public has been cautioned that arrests will  be made on those who defy MCO.

People, if we don’t comply, the tighter and longer the control order’s going to be. The “suffering” can be short or long as determined by our action. I wouldn’t even want to mention how prolonged MCO impacts our economy. No one can escape the toll it takes on our businesses, jobs and livelihoods. As we all know very well, it does not take mere weeks or months for normalcy to be restored. If you want to step out of your house, think  again – is it necessary?

Do also stay in touch with family members and friends who are aboard. Everyone is staying at home all over the world and will feel easily bored. At our home, we’ll call or text my son and nephew in the States; niece and friends in Singapore, Australia; a lovely friend who is one of the many doctors serving at the frontline in NHS, UK and family members in states. Most grateful for technology which made it possible for us to communicate via FaceTime, WhatsApp and Facebook with family and friends around the world. I can only offer my daily prayers to all of you to stay safe and health.

Not all gloom and doom in this situation we are in. Depending on how you use this time at home and most importantly, how you think. At the beginning, I couldn’t get used to being at home during the day. I was always out and about, moving from one activity to the next on weekdays. And, during the weekend, my family and I would go for buffet breakfast at our favourite places and then off to shopping malls for the following meals and perhaps, a bit of shopping. So, for the first several days, I was happily catching up on watching Korean dramas, in between preparing simple meals (to the delight of my daughter). You see, she prefers home-cooked food while I would rather eat out. Since we can’t go to the restaurants at this point of time, I will be cooking more often at home. On my lazy days, I’ll just order food to be delivered to us.

Another plus on self-care during MCO: For those who have been buying and collecting Korean and Japanese facial masks, Lush Rub, Rub, Rub and other body scrubs, Dermologica and whatnots facial scrub, hair wax/spa, but haven’t the time or chance to do all that before, now you can take comfort in the long hours at home to DIY. And to those who wear Invisalign like me, we finally get to fulfil the minimum hours of wearing them i.e. at least 20 hours a day. It is so convenient because I can remove, cleanse and fix back in my private bathroom (instead of public toilet, usually) ta daa..!

A week passed since the first phase of MCO, I found that my body ached all over by sitting on one spot for far too long (owing to watching K-Drama from episode to episode).  I’m aware that I must stand up and walk around every 30 minutes of sitting. Being aware of something beneficial yet not acting upon it is not good enough. That triggered me to add another activity to my days of being at home, that is to declutter (part by part) the house starting from our common study table (which is actually a 8-seater dining table which I use as our common study/writing table). Clearing away old books to keep the table tidy was like clearing the cobwebs from my head. At the same time, as I would be spending some time in the kitchen, next order of the day was to clear, organise and restock my pantry. Boy, did I feel so much lighter!

Another good thing that happens during MCO is that I’ve resumed writing posts on my blog! Before this, I had been wanting to write but I just didn’t get around to do it. There’s always something else more urgent that needed my attention. When I sit down and think again, I find that there are so many things that I can occupy myself with while staying at home.

Another benefit of staying at home and having so much free time is that I’m taking better care of myself. I’m eating my breakfast everyday, which I usually skipped. All this while, I haven’t the habit of grabbing a bite first thing in the morning. These two weeks, I’ve been preparing nutritious breakfast for ma fille chérie and I and it has been such a fulfilling experience. I’ve learnt to make the perfect bircher muesli too! It tasted so delicious and fresh. I have even tried making banana fritters, one of my favourite snack, and I got it almost right (98%) at the 3rd attempt. Woohoo!

With all the fundamentals in place, the next thing to do is to switch back to my student mode. I aim to write my Research Proposal and submit the application for registration to this September intake. In MCO Week 2, I’ve since power up my laptop and planned my studies; looking out and signing up for PhD related online workshops or classes that can help kickstart my Research Proposal writing. Writing thesis for a master degree and doing research for a PhD are totally different ballgame. Frankly speaking, the thought of it still scares the hell out of me. All this while, I’ve been sitting on the idea with my body and mind going all over the places, running away from my laptop, paper and pen. I’ll tackle this one step at a time. So, since I am staying at home, with nowhere else to go during MCO, I trust I can focus on searching and reading journals to build content for my research proposal. And today, I have even resumed discussion with my supervisor (SV) about the topic of my research. This, to me is a very good progress on my part, within these 2 weeks.

Besides my studies and drawing up weekly meal plans, I’ve also included working out as per my normal schedule. I used to do pilate with my personal trainer twice a week before MCO. Thanks to Heartcore Physio & Pilate for listening and caring. The trainers take turn to share videos of home pilate moves in their IG. They make it so easy to follow. It sure helps to stretch and loosen those stiff muscles caused by prolonged sitting in one position and bad posture. Now you see….staying at home is not that bad after all. I get to live and eat more healthily, practise better time-management and self-discipline.

You too can make the best out of staying at home. Think of that something you’ve been wanting to do (from home) for a long time, yet you haven’t done it. For instance, decluttering your home, organising your wardrobe, clearing the storeroom, learning a new skill or language, read a book and so on. Start a new hobby perhaps? Painting, writing, baking, sewing, knitting or cooking, if you like. Well, what are you waiting for? Start the ball rolling and make staying at home fun!

 

Cheers,

~ Alice

 

 

Bill Gates : A Spiritual Purpose

Source : The Sun 

In an open letter, entitled ‘What is the Corona/ Covid-19 Virus Really Teaching us?’, Bill Gates (BG) wrote: ‘A SPIRITUAL PURPOSE‘. It was an insightful assessment of the crisis. It made me reflect on a few things that I’d like to share them here (ref: AN).

BG: It is reminding us that we are all equal, regardless of our culture, religion, occupation, financial situations or how famous we are. This disease treats us all equally, perhaps we should too. (If you don’t believe me, just ask Tom Hanks.)

AN: It takes a tiny virus to bring all, including the strongest and most powerful to their knees. It makes us realised that we are equally as vulnerable, weak, helpless and sensitive as everyone else. Therefore, we must treat one another fairly, kindly and respectfully while we are still breathing on this earth.

BG: It is reminding us that we are all connected and something that affects one person has an effect on another. It is reminding us that the false borders that we have put up have little value as this virus does not need a passport. It is reminding us, by oppressing us for a short time, of those in this world whose whole life is spent in oppression.

AN: We are interdependent; we are linked in this invisible chain, like it or not. Our every action has an effect on another. Therefore, we shall always be careful with we what we do or say. We are ONE, not separated by age, gender or colours. We have to work together for the sole purpose to survive this pandemic without any further damage within the shortest time possible. While we are cooped up at home with restricted movement, it makes us think of those who have been oppressed their whole life. Let us be more considerate and mindful towards others, and pray for the well-being of these people.

BG: It is reminding us of how precious our health is and how we have moved to neglect it through eating nutrient poor manufactured food and drinking water that is contaminated with chemicals upon chemicals. If we don’t look after our health, we will, of course, get sick.

AN: Health is wealth. We often hear that prevention is better than cure, bearing in mind that no all diseases can be cured. It is our responsibility to take care of our own health. Never once take our bodies for granted. Feed the body and mind with positivities and love, balanced meals, drink plain water (the cheapest), practice good habits i.e. sleep well, take time to rest and exercise. If we don’t look after our own health, who else could do it for us? Let us stay healthy together.

BG: It is reminding us of the shortness of life and of what is most important for us to do, which is to help each other, especially those who are old or sick. (Our purpose is not to buy toilet roll.)

AN: Life is short. In this short journey, how best do we want to live our lives? How do we want to serve our families? How can we help others ease their sufferings? How do we contribute back to the society especially the old and sick ones.

BG: It is reminding us of how materialistic our society has become and how, when in times of difficulty, we remember that it’s the essentials that we need (food, water, medicine) as opposed to the luxuries that we sometimes unnecessarily give value to.

AN: Back to basics. At this point of time, all the material goods become immaterial. If we are near deathbeds, these are no longer meaningful. It’s time to realign our purpose in life. In reference to the Maslow Hierarchy of Needs, we have to review if we have fulfilled our physiological needs i.e. air, water, food, shelter, sleep, clothing, security and health. Of course, I’m not encouraging panic buying. Just have sufficient supplies. If we hoard the essentials, there is nothing much left for others. Remember that if everyone buys only what they need, there is always enough stocks to meet the community’s needs. The stocks will be replenished. Moreover, overstocking causes wastage. Let’s not waste our food and money.

BG: It is reminding us of how important our family and home life is and how much we neglected this. It is forcing us back into our houses so we can rebuild them into our home and to strengthen our family unit.

AN: Time to reflect about our home life and our family. While we are assured that our family will always stand by us, we shall not take them for granted. Knowing how important a family not necessary means they are well taken care of. We may have neglected our loved ones in the midst of our busy schedule. Being forced to stay home gives us the chance to gather and talk openly on how we can strengthen our family ties and values.

BG: It is reminding us that our true work is not our job, that is what we do, not what we were created to do. Our true work is to look after each other, to protect each other and to be of benefit to one another.

AN: Having a job provides for the family. It is necessary. At the same time, family should be our main priority too.  We must take care of home and always protect our family. Never miss the chance to love and care for your loved ones for you may never have the same chance again.

BG: It is reminding us to keep our egos in check. It is reminding us that no matter how great we think we are or how great others think we are, a virus can bring our world to a standstill.

AN: Just like material possessions, ego is useless and can only put us in harm’s way. Feeling of self-importance and ones thinking of themselves as great deal will realise that it only takes one bad incident to bring down our fortress to the ground. Keep  our ego in check and make humility our ally. Humility is thinking of ourselves less and it values self as well as others.

BG: It is reminding us that the power of freewill is in our hands. We can choose to cooperate and help each other, to share, to give, to help and to support each other or we can choose to be selfish, to hoard, to look after only our self. Indeed, it is difficulties that bring out our true colours.

AN: Of course, the will to act is in our hands. No one can force us do what we don’t want to. We can choose to be considerate, supportive and helpful or otherwise. If we have been selfish all this while, in this time of hardship, let us give and share a bit more. Sharing is caring.

BG: It is reminding us that we can be patient, or we can panic. We can either understand that this type of situation has happened many times before in history and will pass, or we can panic and see it as the end of the world and, consequently, cause ourselves more harm than good.

AN: In this world of impermanence, nothing lasts forever. This crisis will pass but not without affecting/changing our lives. This experience makes us think and act differently. Let us be patient, do what needs to be done and wait it out. No need to panic. Let us take a day at a time. We’ll survive this.

BG: It is reminding us that this can either be an end or a new beginning. This can be a time of reflection and understanding, where we learn from our mistakes, or it can be the start of a cycle which will continue until we finally learn the lesson we are meant to.

AN: Every crisis lies an opportunity. We only need to look beyond it to reflect and understand. This is the chance to correct our mistakes before it’s too late. Re-balance and re-align our lives. Don’t just say you want to be happy or wish to do this and that. Just do it. The right and perfect time is RIGHT NOW.

BG: It is reminding us that this Earth is sick. It is reminding us that we need to look at the rate of deforestation just as urgently as we look at the speed at which toilet rolls are disappearing off of shelves. We are sick because our home is sick.

AN: We have known all along that our planet is suffering. We felt bad for a while.  But, not many do something about it. All it needs is for every one of us to do our part in keeping our earth healthy. We can’t control the whole population but the change starts from ME. Ask ourselves, “what can I do?”, to make it better? It is the power of ONE that gradually make a difference, slow as it may be but with the joint effort of all, it’ll eventually produce the desired results.

BG: It is reminding us that after every difficulty, there is always ease. Life is cyclical, and this is just a phase in this great cycle. We do not need to panic; this too shall pass.

AN: Life has its ups and downs. We’ll just have to accept this difficulty and do our best to keep well. Let us do our parts by staying home and be safe, so that the front-liners can work more efficiently. It’ll get better. Be patient.

BG: Whereas many see the Corona/Covid-19 virus as a great disaster, I prefer to see it as a *great corrector*. It is sent to remind us of the important lessons that we seem to have forgotten and it is up to us if we will learn them or not.

AN: Just like in investment where the market corrects itself, this crisis is doing the same. Too many disasters created by humans themselves that the nature has to do some corrections. Let us think deep and hard…..what lessons do we learn from this experience. My deepest sympathy to those who have lost their loved ones. My prayers goes to those who are undergoing treatments and the medical staffs serving the patients tirelessly. May God bless us all.

 

Disclaimer:

The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect that of the general public. The content is not intended to malign anyone or anything.

 

Cheers,

~ Alice

 

 

 

For Love or Unconditional Love?

Let us ask ourselves, what is “love”? Do you love freely? Not many people can love freely since they are held back by the fear of being hurt. For others, they consider love as providing materially for another’s livelihood. There are those who love without attachment; I wonder how that works. It does sound like a convenient arrangement. Maybe that applies to companionship with no strings attached.

Now, on the receiving end, do you feel loved? Feeling loved makes you feel important to that someone. It is a great feeling, making you feel happy, contented and protected. It makes you feel appreciated, respected and that someone really cares for your happiness. There are different kinds of love. Love between a parent and a child, a husband and a wife, between siblings, between partners, between friends. Quoting GoodTherapy.org, some possible definitions of love include:

• A willingness to prioritize another’s well-being or happiness above your own.
• Extreme feelings of attachment, affection, and need.
• Dramatic, sudden feelings of attraction and respect.
• A fleeting emotion of care, affection, and like.
• A choice to commit to helping, respecting, and caring for another, such as in marriage or when having a child.
• Some combination of the above emotions.

Now that we understand love better than before, what about “unconditional love“? It is a noble one that lasts and persists despite any sort of negativity. It is rooted with understanding, compassion and forgiveness. Are humans truly capable of unconditional love? A complete love without any limitations, conditions or reward. Can we see ourselves as capable of selfless love?

All I know of such love is the love in God and the love between a parent and a child. No matter how hurt and angry parents are towards their children, knowing that the latter have to struggle through life, they will take many deep breaths, practice great patience and offer guidance repeatedly even if it falls onto deaf ears.

Loving another unconditionally has its disadvantage as it may set us up for greater disappointment when we cling tightly to a sense of entitlement. That is when we expect something that one person is unable to provide or when our partner’s needs clashes with our own. Each will think that his/her own need is more critical or important. So, I prefer to be realistic. Simply loving and be loved will do just fine. Having said that, if we want to feel love, we must first love ourselves. Love makes us kind and generous. From such sense of happiness and contentment, we become capable to care for others as much as we care about ourselves.

Just as plants need the sun, water and nutrients to grow, we cannot expect love to thrive under hostile condition. Love isn’t one-sided piece of work. It doesn’t mean we are so big and important that we can ignore another person’s needs, wants and to always comply to  our every requests. This is not a master-servant relationship. Instead, we have to be responsive to our partner while also affirming our own needs. Recognising and respecting that each of us have our own limits and boundaries.

Loving simply means being sensitive towards others, respectful, attentive and attuned to each other’s feelings. We have to stay connected and not taking the years of togetherness for granted. We cannot love another when we keep dismissing or minimising our partner’s needs. Neither can we survive the love if we continue to suppress our own desires which would eventually breed resentment. For love to work, both parties must strive to maintain a good balance and continue to validate each other’s feelings. The right time to work on it is in the present. Not, later for the “later” may end up too late. Love isn’t a finished product but its status remains as a work-in-progress. It is like a living plant that needs continuous tender loving care…so, take great care of it.

Cheers,

~ Alice

 

My Convocation (Nov 2018)

I haven’t been writing since mid of 2018. A lot of life events sped by me in this rat race world. Or could it be that our planet has been orbiting the sun at a higher speed these last six years (I wonder…).

Convocation is the most meaningful event for any student. It is a celebration of their academic success. It is also about succeeding in overcoming challenges while gaining knowledge to sharpen their skills, climbing higher on the corporate ladder or even in growing one’s business. It is not all about the paper qualification. It includes the soft factors contributing to our maturity in terms of creativity, personal growth, diligence, integrity, academic excellence, courage, patience, gratitude, responsibility, selflessness and the list goes on. The life experience has also brought me fulfillment, satisfaction, happiness and pride. I hope that I would be the role model to my children where life-long learning is concerned. I firmly believe that life is a learning process. What got us here, may not get us much further. Everything around us changes so rapidly. Remember that change is the only constant thing in this world. We grow up and learn things we never thought we would know through our life journey. Besides personal experience, we must acquire additional knowledge, perhaps through education or training, to progress to the next level.

While studying, it is inevitable to face various degrees of challenges that could derail us. When that happens, we should go back to review and if need be, re-plan our time and action properly, communicate with our advisor/lecturers and friends for support, not to be afraid to ask for help and most importantly celebrate little successes/achievements as self-motivation and encouragement. I would not have completed this journey if I had worked alone. I had my friends, family and advisors supporting me all the way, throughout the 6 years. It took me that long especially the lonely last 4 years when I did my thesis. That experience alone taught me a lot and I discovered that I could achieve more than I thought.

My convocation was a great deal to my family and I. When my father was first diagnosed with GIST, I made a promise to myself and prayed that he would be there to see me in my graduation robe. Thank God for answering my prayer for he proudly witnessed me receiving my scroll on the stage. Thank you, dearest father for always keeping well. I could see how proud he was of me. Thank you for being there, father dearest.

As it was a big event at this middle age of mine, I dressed up for it. The great designer, Calvin Thoo delivered! He brilliantly designed this traditional baju kurung for my graduation ceremony. My dear friend carefully selected a light and cooling fabric as he knew it was going to be a hot day. He accessorised it to match the entire outfit. I fell in love with it instantly when he revealed the dress to me. Stunning design!

On my convocation day, I was so blessed to have my parents, godmom, husband, daughter, sis-in-law, brother, nieces and nephews sharing that special moment with me. Missing on that day was my dear son as he was preparing for his finals in the States. Nonetheless, he was as excited as I when we FaceTimed after the ceremony. 

All in all, even though it was a long and difficult journey, I had no regrets. I let go the job I was passionate about to invest those precious time in completing the master degree. I was juggling various roles in my life; being a wife, a mother to two teenagers, a daughter, with a demanding job, and actively involved in the Parent-Teacher Association as well. I was mentally exhausted with mixed feelings. I just knew then that I had to keep my head up, keep moving forward a step at a time till completion. I felt most grateful to my supervisor who prevented me from quitting when it got toughest, and when my mind was at the crossroads. He understood and he kindly advised me so that I could get to the finishing line eventually. True to what he said, that I had invested so much of my precious time and energy for all to be thrown out of the window. He said to me that I would just need to hang on for just a little more and I would be done. I was so glad that I listened to him. Thank you, Dr. Ahmad Rizal.

From there, I hope to pursue my Ph.D. degree. Reason being, I’d like to be an educator one day (hopefully in my mid fifties) and I know that a Ph.D. degree is one of the criteria to be accepted. That shall be my semi-retirement plan. No plan, ever for full retirement, if I can help it.

To all students or would-be students reading this, regardless of ages, you can do it! As long as you do it sincerely with dedication, you’ll feel the greatest satisfaction. You’ll be proud of yourselves when you don that graduation robe and walk up to receive your scroll. All the best, guys!

Cheers

~ Alice

About Friendship

Today, is a sad day when my mentor, also a close friend was laid to rest. I’ve known him for more than 2.5 decades. The kind of friend whom you don’t need to keep in touch often (rarely, actually) but when met, catching up on family, kids, work, etc., came naturally.

A brilliant person, visionary and quick-thinking with great sense of humour. He roared like a lion when angry. All that I learned and practiced throughout my corporate career till today, especially on marketing, I learned them ifrom this guru. I’ll always remember him as a great leader. Of course, he was not a saint. He had his shortcomings, in a big way, well…he was always big in everything he did. Let’s say I adopted what’s good and learned from the not so good experience.

I still can’t believe that I’ve lost a close friend last night. But, I’m glad that he was with his beloved family when it happened. His elder son mentioned that his late father looked at peace. May he rest in peace. If he were here to answer me, he’ll definitely say “I surely will!”.  I pray for his lovely wife and children he left behind. I’m sure he had done and planned everything for them to carry on in his absence.

We all know that life is fragile. One minute you’re talking with someone and the next, he/she is gone. Like in my case, after meeting late last year, we promised to meet again once everything settled down after the new year. Supposed to meet again in February but our travel plans and work came in between and therefore, we had to postpone them. Now, there won’t be any chance for a chat over coffee anymore.

Let’s now talk about friendship. There are friends whom we stay close and in touch with, regularly; Friends whom we hardly keep in touch though staying in the same city or state. And, friends whom we can’t meet because we are residing very far apart, like in different states or countries. Mostly, we keep in touch more with our Facebook friends than others (family, classmates, schoolmates, etc). Facebook friends become our regular buddies whilst our buddies have become once-in-a-while friends. Some, lost touch altogether!

Remember we always tell our friends, “let’s catch up”, “keep in touch”, “hope to see you again”, etc? I find them to be meaningless but merely polite way to say goodbye for now. How many of us really make an effort to keep in touch? How many of us really call one another to make time to meet up even for a while, face to face?

With the development of technology, the emergence of social media and short messages, we hardly meet face to face physically. We get to keep in touch through our social media status updates. Everyone is busy. No one seems to take a breather anymore. No time for friends, sadly. I know deep down, when we get older, really older, we need our friends. Friends to smile with us, talk with us, listening to our voices and laughters, exchanging hugs and all.

I hope it is not too late for us who are still living and breathing, to say keep in touch and really mean it and do it. We don’t know when our time is up. Not all get advanced warning. Let us not regret missing the chance to meet up for coffee or tea for a short chatz or just to relax in the company of good friends.

Let us make time for friendship. If you haven’t done so for a while now, pick up the phone and start filling up the calendar, even if it is just for that once a week event. Meet up and celebrate friendship. Say what you want to say to the person when he/she is still alive and can appreciate it. Let’s not wait till the the person is no longer there for friends to gather and missing the vacant seat.

As for my mentor cum close friend, I know you’ll be in a good place. You shouldn’t have said you wanted to retire at the age of 59. It also happens to be your year of birth. Anyway, nothing surprised you, right? You always believed that when the time has come, it’ll just (snap fingers)! All in God’s hands. Farewell, dear friend. Don’t work too hard up there, you hear.

~ Alice N.

Finally, I did it!

For those of you who have been following my posts since the inception of this blog, you’ll know when I began the journey of my Master degree. I bet many would have forgotten about it or thought I had given up. You see, the average part-time students take about 3 years to complete the course. Here, I took double the time frame to complete it (3 years in “hibernation”). I avoided sitting myself down to tackle the thesis. Instead, I used my wakeful hours for work, PTA activities and family. I tried, yes I did, to put aside 30 mins each day to look into my thesis but I was just too tired to lift a finger. I also tried to read at least a journal, half a journal, erm…… a page a day but it’s just not gonna happen. Sigh….

Looking back, I attended 10-hour weekend classes without fail, passed my finals each semester and completed my 10 courses on schedule! That was done during busy period of my life including travelling to Singapore almost every other week! I was amazed that I did it after all! Thereafter, the last lap…writing the thesis. Without completing and passing the thesis, I can’t graduate. Without that, all effort and time I invested into this course will be flushed into the drain, negative return to that investment. Not just monetary loss but those that can’t be bought by money, for instance, my personal time, time supposedly spent with my family, time that can be used to do other productive things and the damaged cells caused by accompanying stress (LOL!).

Let me share this with other students reading this. Selecting a supervisor for the thesis must be done carefully. Supervisor-Student relationship is vital in deciding the success in completing the thesis. It is a norm to hear students changing supervisors, not once but several times. The same goes to changing topics for the thesis. Selecting and engaging the right supervisor for the thesis is of utmost importance because the lecturer is expected to provide guidance, advice and offering valuable inputs into writing the thesis. The right supervisor will ensure that your goal is achieved no matter how long it takes. The one goal is to complete the thesis and graduate.

One particular lecturer has earned his reputation in our uni for being the most stern but brilliant lecturer. He knows his subjects very well that there is not way to fool him. Everyone cringed in fear when facing him for viva voce as he will ask questions which many face difficulties in answering them. When I finally met him for a course which he lectured in my class, I found that he is not that fearsome after all. He explained his lessons well, crystal clear but his expectation for post-grad students is rather high.  Without given much thought, I proposed to him to be my supervisor for my thesis and he agreed! I knew it wouldn’t be easy but I felt that learning from a perfectionist has more pros than cons. Now, I can validate that statement after seeing the end results.

Next, selection of the topic for the thesis was more challenging than selecting the supervisor. Preferably, a topic which is not widely written about; considering how my thesis can contribute to the community/industry or future researchers. It must have a good size of sample to test on. Once the topic was established and accepted by my supervisor, the reading of scholarly journals began. I love to read but not scholarly journals. I dozed off many times while reading them. I was advised by other lecturers that to write a master thesis, one has to read between 50-100 journals. The more the researcher reads, the easier it is to write the thesis. When I read up to the 25th journal, I felt as if my brain had long gone into coma. All financial journals looked and sounded the same. The only difference was the types of sample used. Findings were mostly inconclusive!

Writing thesis is all about self-discipline. There isn’t any classes compulsory to attend or exams to sit for, so the student is literally left on his/her own with occasional communication with the supervisor, if at all. I discovered from my own experience that when we don’t set and lock that time aside to read a journal, make notes, write a sentence/paragraph/sub-chapter/chapter, we will fall into lazy mode or dancing around the thesis all the time. Lame as it may sound, simply because there is always something else which is more important to be attended to. It could be meeting deadline for your work, preparing that presentation slides for a client, write that report for your office, attending to children, calls to your social works, etc. The thesis will eventually get pushed deeper into the stash of work/stuffs that are best left unseen and forgotten.

That was exactly what happened to me when my thesis ended up hibernating for 3 cold years. Office work would always take priority because my clients paid fees for my works. Sometimes it involved travelling out-of-town to their offices to meet with the rest of the board members for presentation and discussion. Then, there’s the PTA. I was and still am an active member and for someone who is a almost-perfectionist and would do her best for anything and everything, it was hard to turn my back on matters which require my attention. Serving thousands of students, teachers and parents has always been challenging but I enjoyed doing it alongside my committee members, teachers and parents.  The same passion I placed on my advisory works, working closely with clients and their family members or board members. Concurrently, being there and enjoying private moments with my family members especially the growing children – studying, chilling and travelling.

At the final extension of my course, I had only one last semester to complete my thesis or I fall out. With no other choices, either I make it or break it, I had to force myself to do what was necessary to ensure that I complete the whole thing and graduate this year, 2018. If not, my son will be graduating before me or I won’t be graduating at all after 6 years of effort, time and money involved. Nah, I told myself…I can’t just give up or I won’t be able to face my children. Can’t imagine me saying to my kids, “Mommy can’t’ make it cos it is tough. So many things to juggle. I just can’t do it!”. I’m sure as you read the simple line, you’d say…excuses, excuses, excuses! I would too. And, what kind of message would I be sending to my children? Give up when the going gets tough? We always advise our children not to give up so easily. When we start a race, we must finish it even if it means crawling to the finish line! I have to go on one way or another. I have to change something to get different results this time. That was the time, in late 2016 when I gave up my job so that I could free some time for the thesis.

Besides, I am most grateful to my supervisor who guided me all these years, patiently at that, making things look clearer and simpler. That helped in motivating me to move forward. Being assured that you have the right coach gives you the peace of mind to do what is required of you. Fewer worries mean clearer mind to think and write. I can’t thank him enough. Dr R is one lecturer who doesn’t give up on his students, no matter how lousy (moi!). He is most understanding and his approach is more of encouraging than pressing. Simply brilliant!

Finally, in April 2018, I completed my thesis (to the satisfaction of my supervisor and the Board of Examiners) after attending my viva voce. I was glad that my presentation went well. My thesis had to undergo reasonable amount of amendments to “perfect” it. Once the thesis was bound in the black cover hard copy accompanied by CDs, my heart was bursting with great joy. I DID IT! Finally, I said to myself…after all I had done and gone through for the completion this journal. It felt like I have just conquered the mountain! The feelings can’t be put into words. Feelings of relief, happiness, freedom and….lost! One biggest challenge in life has been conquered. What’s next? hahaha..yeah! Before the ink dries up, my mind has started planning for the next project.

While waiting for the final results (marks) and convocation, I get my new plans in gear. Learning a new language, Japanese, since I’d be visiting Fukuoka this year-end, I hope to be able to converse in Japanese with the locals.

Next in line, is to attend an academic writing course. This is to prepare me for what’s ahead. It at all possible, I plan to continue with PhD in 2019. In my master plan, I wish to become a lecturer at the next career stop.

Besides, activities at the school and PTA will fill up my calendar as we will be having our PTA project in July; silver jubilee celebration thereafter. There is always something going on every month. Now, we are planning for the year 2019 to 2020! I will pave my way for the incoming president next year. It is time to pass the baton to someone else.

All in all, year 2018 is quite an exciting and meaningful year. The best birthday gift is the completion of my master degree before I turn the big 5-O and attending my graduation ceremony after my 5-O birthday. To me, it is a great achievement!

For students reading this, everything is possible as long as you continue to believe in yourselves. One cannot work alone. You need to have positive people supporting you, around you. They lift you when you are down; they celebrate every little progress you make along the way. I have such circle of friends whom I call the MM Group. We celebrated or simply to cheer or motivate one another by gathering for a good meal, chats and laughter to de-stress. I owe them big time and they showed me what friendship is all about…everyone is busy but they make time to go to you, to be together even for a couple of hours.

For adults reading this, if you have been thinking of continuing higher education, at whatever age you’re at, go for it! I’m not the oldest student graduating from a master degree. I was told that the oldest master student in my uni was a man in his 60s! There is no age limit to continuing ones education. I will not stop till I obtain my PhD at whatever age. Let’s hope I can do it in this life…hahaha…

It is not the paper certificate which matters. What matters most is actually the experience and the journey while seeking the knowledge. It opens my mind, sharpens my thoughts and most of all, it reveals that I can do whatever I want to if I persist and work very hard on it. Never lose sight of the goal and it’ll get you there.

I hope you get to learn something from my experience. Have a great weekend, folks.

Cheers,

~ Alice

 

 

 

 

Life as a Student

In our family, we have 3 students of different levels. Younger child is in high school, her older sibling is an under-grad while I’m a post-grad student. The kids are cheering me on for PhD! As a firm believer of life-long learning, yes I hope I could do so as it has been my wish to do my PhD before I kick the bucket. For now, let me settle my Masters first.

Based on my experience, being a college student at the young age right after high school was much better than being a mature student. When you are a young college student, all you really, seriously need to worry about is making that grade at each exam. Your time is spent mostly on attending classes, studying in the libraries, meeting friends, traveling during the semester breaks and occasional parties. For some, with the inclusion of part-time jobs.

As a mature student, with family and a job, it is tough to try to fit in as many tasks as I wish, into the same amount of time everyone has. Weekdays are spent doing full-time job, attending to family and weekends for full-day classes. There is no break in between as all 7 days are taken up. Most time, studies get attended to after doing works which I’m paid for. Family is important too, and will have to settle the kids first before I get to do my assignments. My take is, if at all possible, study as much as you like before you settle down with a family. Studying while working is not easy but you can handle it best when you are single.

I started my course when my son was still in high school. Usually most part-time mature students complete their masters within 2.5 years. I’m not that model student. It has taken me 5.5 years to finally complete my MSc Finance (pending thesis approval). At the beginning of the MSc journey, I went through all the required 10 courses, core and electives combined, as scheduled; but I ‘wasted’ 3 years after that, lying idle – where my thesis was concerned. Those 3 years I spent every wakeful hours, with very little sleep doing financial advisory works for my clients and being active in the PTA at my children’s school. At that time, I felt that my job and the PTA needed my attention more than the thesis. The only sin I committed was getting too committed to my job and executing my role wholeheartedly in the PTA. Of course, there’s my family, occupying my 24/7 – on top of the list.

Finally, in December 2016, I left the workforce hoping that I could switch my focus to completing my thesis while serving the PTA. That move certainly took away quite some weight off my shoulders. Where the thesis was concerned, it was tough to pick up from where I left off. Kind of like the engine had gone icy cold. It took some time for me to warm up to resume writing.

When I first started writing my thesis, the abstract to be exact, I thought I could write just about anything, easy-peasy. I was so wrong! My first dissertation was done way back in 1997. Today, at post-grad level, the expectation and standard of writing is much higher. I admit that I was struggling a lot with it, moving at snail pace. Finally, a friendly lecturer advised me to read between 50 to 100 journals before beginning to write my thesis. I was reluctant to stop writing to make a u-turn to reading more journals. I didn’t get her then. When the same advice was repeated by other lecturers, including my supervising professor, it started to dawn on me that, like it or not, I had to do just that if I wanted to complete my thesis. Yes, it was dry and boring stuffs, reading almost similar contents over and over again but by different authors. Dozing off while reading was a normal scene, even with a cup or two espresso to accompany. Reading relevant journals wherever I was, whenever there was a pit stop while sending and fetching daughter for her school activities and running chores. Now the best part…Having read through past researches, I discovered that the more I read the clearer my mind became. Ideas started pouring in and a structure was slowly taking shape in my mind. Finally, after all the hard work, right before the PTA AGM 2018, I completed my thesis. Yay!!!

For students reading this, whenever your teachers advise you to read more books, you know why now. It helps to enhance your writing skill and boost your creativity. It also helps you to see a clearer roadmap ahead on how to write your essays, project papers or thesis. There is a standard pattern to academic writing. The only difference between one author to another, is incorporating your thoughts or personal opinion into your writing. How we perceive a certain subject is different from the next person. That is why we cannot copy others’ works and treat it as ours. Treating others’ works as ours is committing plagiarism. It is a very serious offence in the academic world. Therefore, be mindful when you write your papers. I believe in my own work regardless how long it takes me to complete it, no matter how imperfect it may be. I’d like to look at  the finished product with pride in my eyes and clear conscience in my heart. It takes a bit, or rather much longer in my case, slowly but surely I completed it. That’s what matters.

I wasn’t an A student; just an average student. I love outdoors more than classrooms. The only indoor I like was the library or book shops because I love reading books. Believe it or not, I began to enjoy studying only when I started working. I realised that in the workforce, being smart in a logical way, hardworking and all weren’t enough to climb the corporate ladder. I was an ambitious young woman out there. I wanted to achieve the extraordinary, to break my own records. What I found out is that we need to have higher qualifications accompanying the quality of work we produced to be promoted more quickly. Without the certifications, it takes teens of years to get a promotion if you’re lucky. That was told to me by a senior in the office. I was like, seriously??!! I couldn’t wait forever to get my promotion!

I asked my boss (at the age of 23) why people with degrees or masters get high position jobs without much experience? He replied,  a person with qualification, though lacks experience, can be taught or trained more easily and they tend to grasp the knowledge and skill more quickly. The grads armed with theories (supposedly), will put the theories to practice and execute the jobs well. That motivated me to be a student again.

Now, I study to enhance my knowledge so that I could sharpen my skill. Additionally, I’d like to see myself as a role model to my children, showing them that age doesn’t stop a person from seeking education. I was told by a librarian in my uni that the oldest post-grad student to graduate was in his sixties!

Why do I study besides being a role model to my kids? Well….education is the key to opening doors to more opportunities. The more you study, the more keys you have to open more doors (opportunities). What do I mean by that? In case you are seeking a new job, your certs may be able to provide the chances you need to secure one, regardless where you are, locally or abroad. Why restrict yourself with just one key of opportunity? The more equipped you are, I’d like to think that the more secure your future is going to be. I may not use my certs right now as my job doesn’t require anymore certs, but who knows what might happen in the future? I still attend seminars occasionally to learn new things and to keep abreast with this fast changing world.

Lastly, when you get the chance to study, study hard (if you notice, I did not write “study smart”). Make sure to get a good return from your investment….your investment is your time; your return is acquiring knowledge and graduating from the course you studied for. If you are a student doing part-time job(s), treat it as PART-TIME. I know when you see your payslip, you’ll be tempted to put in more hours to earn more. I’m telling you, this is little money. If you cannot handle assignments and PT jobs, you’ve got to let go the little money no matter how tempting it is. Your investment as a student is Education. Leave the tuition fee to your parents. It is their responsibility. If you are in a more difficult situation where you’ve got to rely on yourself, then, study harder to earn a scholarship…when there’s a will, there’s a way. Speak to your student counsellor about your options. Failing which, take a study loan then.

Being a student is FUN. Yes, you read me right. If you think it sucks, you have not entered the workforce yet. Part-time isn’t really into the workforce yet. Almost there but not there yet. That’ll be another post to cover. Right not, enjoy being a student with exams, assignments and projects to worry about. Take a step at a time. If you ever have any issues, always talk to your counsellors or advisors. Some unis have student advisor, some  unis assigned academic advisors and career advisors to their students. Meet with them often to seek guidance. Be not afraid to admit that you are weak, for the ones who seek are the ones who are actually strong. There are always people around you who are willing to extend their hands to you. All you need to do is grab that hand and let yourself be led till you get yourself on your feet again. When you do well, volunteer to help others.

I hope you get to learn something from this post. All the best for your studies. Take a break when you need to but do not give up!

Cheers,

~ Alice

I’m Back!

Hi all, it has been so long since I last wrote in this blog. Many things had happened and lots to occupy my time. I think, if you give me 48 hours, that’ll still be too short for me to complete the tasks I want to get done before I retire for the day.

A quick update on my thesis….I almost terminated it halfway if not for my prof’s encouragement. Lots of struggle trying to complete the thesis. It wasn’t easy when I’m involved in the PTA of my daughter’s school, of which I was elected the President and still am. I was determined to turn it around and to ensure that the PTA accounts get back to black again; I made 2017 the year to maintain and upkeep the school assets to benefit the students. Against all odds, we made it and I was most proud of our achievement. I felt so touched to witness the great teamwork displayed by parents and teachers in every program we executed. Bravo to them all!

As for the thesis, Prof guided, advised and motivated me making the toughest task seemed tolerable and achievable. I literally carried my laptop everywhere I went including during year-end holiday; I read and wrote on the plane, train, in hotel rooms and at the cafe. No time was wasted even for a short 30 mins of meal time. Finally, on the 9th of February 2018, I completed the thesis and checked my 1st draft before submitting to Prof for his comments. Now, pray for the paper to get his approval with minimal amendments.

Dearest son has settled in at his new dorm and university. He is now in his second semester as a transfer student and coping well. I’m glad that he has made great friends and got a wonderful room-mate too. I like the uni instantly when we first went for registration. The parents orientation was well planned and most informative. The second visit was when I brought my daughter along last year-end. Yes, we miss dearest son, miss his jokes, voice and presence. Glad that we could FaceTime him daily if we wish to. We have been chatting regularly.

Dearest daughter is now in Form 4 (Sec 4). Being in the pure science stream is challenging, with tonnes of homework to complete on daily basis. I pray that she’ll find a way to cope and keep up. Education today isn’t like what it was before. When I was in school, I had time for homework as well as lots of playtime. Today, the students are glued to their chairs, trying hard to complete their homework into the night. They have to spare time to attend extra tutorial classes as well as extra-curricular activities. The kids are busier than their parents!

So, what’s in store for the new year 2018? Besides maintaining my position in the PTA, I plan to groom my successor. I believe that new people bring in fresh ideas and could be more effective too. I don’t believe in the same person over-staying in a position and doing the same things but expecting different results. That is for the PTA.

As for my career, it is time to start chatting with a few people before making any decision. That shall take place after the Chinese New Year holiday. We’ll see where that leads me to.

For this one week or so, let me get my life back; go for movies, writing blog posts, and reading my novels and books. I’d like to meet up with friends again for lunch or tea, including having me-time drinking coffee with a book to read. Also, to my daughter’s delight, get back to cooking meals for her. I feel rotten having to eat out all the time or call for food delivery. She misses home-cooked food. Before this, life was all about thesis, thesis, thesis;

I am most grateful to my Prof, teachers who became my cheerleaders and motivators, friends offering encouragement and most of all my husband, parents and children, giving me the time and privacy to focus on my thesis, most understanding when I wasn’t doing my thesis. These people are my No. 1 supporters in everything I do in my life. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

This is just a short update since the last time I wrote…can’t remember when that was. Tune in for more coming your way.

Cheers!

~ Alice N.

 

14 days of Great Adventure – it’s a Wrap!

We started our journey from the 3rd day of August. Mom and son explored Amsterdam, New York City and finally reached our ultimate destination – Bloomington, Indianapolis! We did some sightseeing and went on food tours. We had fun.

It’s exciting to see dear son got settled down in his new living environment; his dorm, getting along well with his room-mate and making new friends from other countries. I guess getting the new bicycle helped a lot. I’m glad it all turned out well for him. Bloomington is a wonderful city where everyone is equal. Much thanks to Indiana University (IU) which exposes the city with multi-cultural influence. People are friendly and most helpful. I so love Bloomington! Nothing fancy but just nice and cosy. Love the houses architecture too!

IU students can be found everywhere. Many of the domestics work part-time at retail stores and restaurants. While we were at Edinburg Premium Outlet, about an hour away from Bloomington, we came to know a senior student manning the check-out counter. Both Sonner and the kind young lady exchanged contact details so that she could connect him with the others in her students-group. I observed, the wonderful IU culture extends to students as well, not just their administrators. They readily provide support to new students without hesitation. They openly expressed excitement for getting to know new friends. Amazing, isn’t it?!

As for me, I made some new friends too, from India, Taiwan and China. We met at the parents orientation activity. This particular Taiwanese mom was so kind and brave to drive us around. As for me, despite having almost 30 years of driving experience, I wouldn’t dare to drive on the other side of the road. It scares the daylight out of me.

What I like about Bloomington road safety is that, all modes of transport, e.g. car, motorbike and bicycle, have to stop at junctions to allow pedestrian cross the street. All must stop at STOP signs and yes, including bicycles. Bicycles aren’t allowed to overtake any vehicle while on road. Meaning, the cyclist has to cycle behind the car, if there is one in front. It can only move forward to the front of the traffic at traffic lights junction where there is a spot specifically for bicycle to stop at. However, where there is a cycling lane, bicycles can cycle freely on that lane. In a traffic jam, no cars are to cut queue. It is understood that everyone stays in the line. No drivers would tolerate misbehavior on the road. They won’t hesitate to walk up to you to tell you off.

At those restaurants and bistros pouring alcoholic beverages, the floor staffs will first ask to see your ID before admitting you into the premises or taking your order (for alcoholic beverages). Under-aged patrons are not allowed to sit at the bar at all. You can expect good service from the floor staff. Of course, don’t forget your tip. A Thai restaurant I went to even printed calculated tip raging from 15% to 25% to ease the payment.

One day, I was served an overdone and dry petite steak for lunch. When I informed the waitress about it, she apologized and immediately order for a freshly cooked steak. She left my plate be so that I can eat the sides while waiting for a replacement for my petite steak.

I noticed that waiting staff at all eateries make an effort to check on us in case we need any further order and if everything is alright. I think it is their culture, not entirely driven by the hope for a larger tip. Back home, I tipped as well but the service and friendliness can’t match that in Bloomington. I could see that they take pride and pleasure in their jobs. The enthusiasm to serve well makes the difference.

At the hotel, the evening before my check-out, the front desk staff helped me booked for my shuttle bus from the hotel to the airport. She even offered to print out my boarding pass and bus ticket, to be delivered to my room! How’s that for six star service?! Thanks to Biddel Hotel. I’d like to shout out to Mark, Sonja, Jeremy (he told me to inform dear son to look for him should he need any help…WOW!) and Mary, the most cheerful cashier at the foodcourt. Mary has a collection of more than 200 hats and she wears a different hat to work everyday. She is in her 60s. These people made a huge difference to my stay in Bloomington. It feels like the whole place is like a family town! There is no total stranger there. That kinda feeling. Sweet, isn’t it?

On my last morning at IMU, we bumped into a group of Malaysian students. 6 of them, one studies in IU while the rests were studying in other unis but are taking a tour around IU. One of them, a Hoosier, exchanged cellphone numbers and promised to add dear son into the Malaysian students group. We count our blessings that dear son gets to meet so many wonderful people offering to help and ready with advice. Thank God for that.

I’m now aboard a plane to NYC, for a duration of 2 hours. 4 hours transit for onward flight to Amsterdam. This is really a marathon …in total, 22 hours on air and 13 hours of transit. I’ve never done such long haul before. The most I clocked was 13 hours flight with 7 hours transit. I’ll write as I move from one airport to another. How fun is that?

The plane is descending approaching JFK. Then, my 4 hrs transit starts before I board the next flight to Amsterdam. I have to fiddle with the time again, to keep jet lag to the minimal.

The 4 hours passed real fast. I’m now boarding for Amsterdam, an 8-hour flight and expected to arrive on time at 11.35am local time. Gonna catch up on some movies and perhaps have a short nap too.

At Schiphol airport, after taking my lunch, i checked into the hotel for 5 hours. It’s better this way for long hours of transit as I get my privacy to freshen up, FaceTime with my kids (separately) and take a short nap. Lovely!

Finally, boarded for KL! My last leg of the journey, balance 12 hours. Can’t wait to be back! Enjoyed my champagne and spicy steak wrap. Movies and nap again. Finally I got to catch up on watching all the movies I didn’t have the chance to watch. Nice!

Touched down on Malaysian soil on 18th August afternoon. On time arrival but the baggage claim was slow. Dear hubby, ma fille chèrie and mom came to the airport to meet me. Glad to be back and that also stamps the long distance that separate us from dear son. I’m not too worried about that as I know he’ll blend in well. He is very much similar to me. We just adjust ourselves to new environment, and make the most of it. Moreover, we can always exchange WhatsApp messages and FaceTime for real time chats. Just need to watch the 12 hours difference in time.

Thankfully, I have sufficient time to freshen up and change before driving out to school for my PTA meeting. As it’s raining and the traffic was slow, I’ve advised my deputy to start the meeting on time. I know I’d be delayed.

Glad I accomplished all I set out to do. Though I was away, I keep tabs on activities in the school, especially the progress of our Rainbow Run 2.0 meetings via feeds from my wonderful fellow committee members. Thanks, guys!

As you read, you’ll realize that this post has been written in parts and along my journey home from the 14 days of my great adventure. I hope you enjoy reading it. That’s it folks! It’s a wrap!

Cheers,

Alice