Change – To Fear Or Embrace It?

If you look at the six alphabets that make up to the word CHANGE, they look so plain and simple, but carry a lot of weight. I think, that’s why we find Change so difficult to accept that some of us simply fear it but yet there are some fearless ones who embrace it as if it is a long-lost family member.

Let’s not talk about the future, yet. We know nothing about what’s next. To prove that change happens all the time, let’s review yesterday and day before yesterday. Do you notice any difference in those two days? Maybe, if not in your action, then your surroundings. The leaves on the tree, the birds that flew into your garden, the wind, clouds, etc. Things change all the time. Some we notice, some we don’t.

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The whole world is changing, weather changes, people change, landscape too. When we live a fulfilled and comfortable life, all we want is to cling tightly to it forever. When any sign of slight change were to come close, we’ll be on a defensive mode, fighting against it like a raging bull. Conversely, when our lives are not what we expect it to be, we’d try all actions and techniques to try to change the current situation for the better. Change could be a sweet or bitter pill to swallow, depending on the situation and person affected by it.

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Everyone continue to go through all sorts of changes and I am not spared too, both by circumstances and by choice. On my career path, I have changed jobs and industries, in search of a “nice fit”. I was very young and didn’t have any idea what I could do better. From accounting to banking, media, insurance, investment and financial advisory. I suspect, if I have a much longer life to live, it would not stop right here. As I grow older and wiser (I hope), coupled with acquired knowledge and observation, what I truly want and need become clearer to me. I may not be on the same path I set out in the first place as I have diverted to various directions over the years. I walk each stride with renewed energy though I know it doesn’t promise me a “strike of gold” at each turn. Such diversion or change, if you like, comes with risk or opportunity cost. Whether it is a successful stint or otherwise, I come out being wiser each time for the lessons it presented to me and it also makes me mentally stronger. I also know that I’m closer to where I should be.

There were times when I started to think that I’d settle down and pitch that career tent for good, it would be time to move on. Moving on is pretty scary if you ask a career nomad like me. Scary but quite exciting too. It’s like a wake-up call to tell me, “Hey, you are still too young to retire and surrender your fate to outside forces! Get your butt out and work that brain of yours. Do something worthwhile with God-given talent you possess!”, and here I go again. Yes, it is exhausting because sometimes it is back to the starting point all over again.

Besides career, personally, I have also gone through different phases of life which serve constant changes. At heart, I’m still the young sweet sixteen girl; who is always curious about human behaviour, loves to sit and watch people around her and still think that the world belongs to her…haahaaaa! Always thinking that tomorrow will be a better day than today.

What’s slightly different is that I’ve grown to embrace continuous education and be a change agent. By doing so, I discover that I continue to grow with the world. Besides growing older, like I said, hopefully growing wiser too. I have long decided to stop fighting changes. I want to be current and remain relevant living in this world. Growing from being a young lady to an adult woman with many responsibilities. Was a single independent lady with nothing much to worry about, to being a wife, mother, daughter and daughter-in-law all bound into one. Nothing in life is predictable and if need be, I just choose to dance to the tune of life. Make some adjustments along the way. Nothing can’t be solved. Just apply alternatives to get results. All in all, we’ll still end up at the same destination, with just a little diversion, don’t you agree?

So, when you are inevitably faced with any changes in your somewhat perfect life, it is not the end of the world. Allow yourself to feel the fear (proves that you are alive and this is real) for a while then find a way to accept and embrace the change for the better. I always believe that there is a reason why I am put on this earth, in this family and where I’m heading for, with whom I meet and the friends I have with me. Once in a while, the Universe puts us to tests, also for a reason. Most often than not, we survived. Take time to review your life thus far. How far have you walked on this earth and how much have you achieved in your life? Don’t omit small achievements. Remember that small gestures/things do make a big difference! I may not know what they are but I can be assured that you have done lots and have made differences to things and people you touched. I just want to say, “BRAVO!”

Having said that, when you are faced with change, what would you do? Fear it or embrace it? For me, I shall first feel the fear, right to my bones but not enough to paralyse me and then get up to strategise my next move to tackle it and make it my team player. What’s important is that change and I are a team! I hope you’ll do the same too.

All the best to you and remember to smile always 🙂

~ Alice N.

 


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Age Is Just A Number

It’s one of my most special days today (on the 2nd). It’s the day when my parents welcomed their daughter into the family, some decades ago. Thanks, Mom and Dad for bringing me into this wonderful world and most of all, into such awesome family.

To me, everyday is a birthday because I get to receive a gift of a brand new day. It’s like, I’m presented with another chance to make life better for me and people whom I come into contact with. I might screwed up my day yesterday But I’m given a chance to make it better today and the days which follow. Life is fantastic, isn’t it?

A friend recently asked me the secret to looking younger than my age. I take that as a compliment, thank you. I don’t have any secrets or special potion or tonic to take. Like everyone else, I juggle many things in my life (too many), there are times when I am so stressed that it’s like a time bomb about to go off anytime, I have my ups and downs, I have my bad hair days, tough days at work, driving around like a mad woman clocking more than 100 kilometers a day, so on and so forth.

All I can say is, there are things I choose to ignore (which I know I have no control over) and there are things I choose to take to heart. I laugh out loud without reservation, who cares how people gave me that look, you know, that it’s not so lady-like to laugh that loudly. I play with children at their level, like a kid. I make time to have a break by myself. I enjoy the time alone sipping my cup of hot Americano or chewing the “pearls” from my bubble tea. It’s not that I have so much time on my hands but I block that time to unwind and stop for a breather. Simply because I deserve a break.

It is nice to love and be loved too. That naturally brings the glow to one such person. Love freely. Dare to trust. Believe in your relationship with others. Learn to forgive. Do not to let small stuffs spoil an otherwise perfect day. Try to put oneself in another person’s shoes, be it the spouse, children, parents, siblings, friends, etc. Learn not to magnify the faults of others. Be humble. Able to admit one’s mistake. Learn to say “I’m sorry”, “I love you” and “thank you”. Hug and kiss more. Walk side by side and hold hands always.

I love to smile and I usually walk with a little smile on my face. The kind which says “Glad to be alive”. Smiling helps to open up my heart and makes me breathe more easily and smoothly. I do receive smiles from strangers everywhere I go. It’s really nice! I don’t mind having laughing or smiling lines as I grow older. Such kind of “wrinkle” only says one thing – I have lived a wonderful life.

Besides, I also discover that doing good for ourselves, our loved ones, friends, whoever we come into contact with also make us happy and young. It feels good to make others happy besides ourselves. I strongly believe that we’ll never lose anything by helping people when we are able. We’ll never become more stupid if we teach people. We’ll never be left with nothing left when we share. In fact, the more we give out, with sincerity, the more the universe will respond positively to us!

Of course, if we are taken for a ride the first time, it is not our fault. We shall learn from it and stop it from repeating. Being too kind has its disadvantages. Just play by ear and do what is right for you. I can’t tell you what is the right or wrong thing to do as I am still learning too. However, I shall not let this little setback to stop me from doing what I enjoy doing and to be kind to others.

So, my special birthday wishes to you all is “CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY ALWAYS AND DO GOOD WHENEVER YOU CAN”. May your smiles lighten up the world around you. May you be showered with lots of love always. May you enjoy the journey to that destination of yours. Peace in your heart and mind.

For all my friends, thank you for your warm wishes. I shall embrace all the lovely messages/advice/wishes you’ve showered upon me and make them part of my life. Thanks for the BBMs, SMS, FB, Whatsapp, Viber, email messages. I feel so blessed 🙂

Cheerio,
Alice N.