Global Internet Seminar – Live

Visual taken @ the Seminar organised by Success Resources

Visual taken @ the Seminar organised by Success Resources

This weekend is a very busy weekend for me; nothing to do with the Royal Wedding, mind you.

I’m now at a seminar, in the heart of Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, learning about social media, internet marketing, making money while you sleep – not just money, lotsa money beyond your wildest imagination! When I first signed up for this, my purpose is to learn more about internet only. Boy, was I in for a shocker, a pleasant one, I must say!

For those who know me, I’m not a tech savvy lady. I own a net book (not latest iPad/Play Book) and a Blackberry Bold (not iPhone/BB Torch) – that’s as close as I get to living in the technology age now. Usage of these tools is as bare minimal as any other non-techie guys and gals on the street. Yup, that’s me! But, I’m not going to swim against the current, I’ll paddle with the current. I’ll get there…oh yes, I shall!

Mili, a speaker from Peru, shared how she just rides on social media platforms to generate fantastic income, without her own product or website! Just make full use of what you have right now, do something slightly different and the end results will never fail to amaze you. This is not only an eye-opener but brain-opener too!

Raven Michaels on the other hand, spoke about Outsourcing services to get your life back (123employee.com) – simply brilliant! We won’t be bogged down by paperworks and reading/replying to strings of emails anymore. How would you like to read only 1 email a day and the rests handled by your virtual assistant (VA)? Your wonderful VA can also take over the jobs of a part of your marketing department! You can then free your mind to maintain high-profile, close rapport with your clients. Having time to do that is simply a luxury.

Steven Essa shared about the use of Webinar. Highly recommended, especially for people who are reluctant writers, prefer to speak instead. You can also conduct 60-90 minute informative seminars at the comfort of your SOHO or anywhere you like. Low cost and quick results. Great? Who says you must rent space at hotels/halls to have seminars?

I especially like the simplicity of Jaz Lai when he shared about the lazy man’s way to internet profit. I was so very excited to see beyond my initial perception of the internet. My brain is filled to the brim with so much information. Getting crowded by the minute. Hope I don’t get information overload by the end of the evening.

This is just 50% through the whole seminar! There are easy to follow steps shared during this seminar. I’m going to try them out and see where they get me to. Wish me luck!

That brings me to this; I wonder how many of you are doing the “internet business” and enjoying great success already? May I invite you like share your success stories here? You ARE an inspiration to the whole world.

I’m now getting ready now for the next powerful session. Have a great weekend ahead!

~ Alice

Banner by Success Resources @ seminar

Banner by Success Resources @ seminar

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

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LOVE Amongst Siblings

Most of us have siblings in our family. To some, siblings become our bosom buddies, whom we share our stuffs, about school, friends, etc. If you are an only child, you might treat your cousins as your siblings. Let me walk you through a journey of siblingship (is there such a word? If not, I’ve just created one, yeah!) – as I see it. Some may, some may not share the same experience.

When we are young, we often play together, snatch things from one another, play tricks, argue endlessly just about anything, irritate one another for the fun of it, and many more. I feel that the more you interact this way, the closer you are with one another. It would drive your parents up the wall, though! Oops! It is okay to have fun, as long as you don’t go overboard, or harm one another, physically and emotionally. Being protective and watching out for your siblings could do a lot more good, to cement that strong bond you have for one another. Many children said that they hate their brother(s) and/or sister(s), especially when they are mad or sad. But, should anything happen to any of them, they would shed tears and wish no harm to befall him/her! You see, deep down inside you, you truly love your sibling(s). Nonetheless, kids just wanna have fun, so have fun! Just remember to be kind, k?

Growing up, each sibling will have his/her own friends and interests. Small arguments and shouting continues, but you see lesser of one another now. The strong bond you built when you were younger, usually, could still keep you all together. If you don’t have that, you might grow a little distant. Simply because you have so much to deal with now, and it’s called growing pains. Familiar to some, depending on what’s your age as you read this.

When you have your own family one day, the landscape of your private life would change again. If you fail to keep in touch as before, you may soon become strangers. You only meet once or twice a year, hardly keep in touch via emails or phone calls. Zero, unless there is any family issue. If you are fortunate to have living parents, they would still hold these siblingship together for that occasional gatherings. When they are not around anymore, it might be tougher to keep up with the family gatherings unless someone takes the lead, and the rests agree to keep this practice going. If not, the gap would grow wider and wider till one day, we might only meet, God knows when!

So, young men and ladies, take great care of your siblingship today, just as well as you take care of your friendship. If you show love to one another and care for one another besides the “fighting” and “screaming” happening this minute, you may have a better chance to lasting relationship with your siblings. You share a lot in common, which other people may not understand. You share the same parents, family culture, journey growing up which most often than not, affect your behaviour and attitude towards things and life around you. You don’t have to do something to impress one another, you can be yourself because you literally grow up together. All your good and bad habits are no surprises to your siblings, yet they still love you for who you are.

So cherish this special moment because one day in the near/far future, you would think back and miss all these. Wish you could have done more to keep this going for the longest time.

Cheers to Siblingship!

~ Alice

Living our Dreams

Think about your dreams…not the dream you had last night. It’s about what you dream to become in the future or what you dreamt of becoming, once a upon a time, but now buried somewhere at a corner of your heart or mind.

If you have realised your dream(s), I congratulate you! But, if you still have dream(s) not realised yet and felt that it is too late now to even think about it, may I ask you to think again? If it’s to marry Prince William, yes, I agree with you, it’s too late and better to let it go. If that is not your dream, Great! Now, ask yourself again, “Why too late?” and “Can I take it up from where I left off?”. If it’s timeless (it usually is), do something meaningful for yourself, starting this minute as you read on.

If you wish to become a teacher, there are many teaching professions like being a tutor, school teacher, uni/college lecturer, coach, trainer, etc.  Be it academic or professional education, art, music or sports. Find out what are the requirements and see if you fit the bill. If not, can you acquire additional knowledge to increase your competency? Meanwhile, would you offer to be a volunteer or apprentice, to gain some field experience first?

If you wish to become a lawyer, why not? I read in the papers some time back about a recently retired man, graduated with his law degree and en route to living his second dream. He could do it, so can you. It’s a matter of how strong your will is to succeed. If it is strong enough, you’ll find a way to achieve it! There is no boundary which can stop you from achieving that life goal, except the one you build around your mind.

If you have growing children, think of it as you being their role model. They will realise that anyone of any age can still seek further education. Imagine you sitting down with your children doing your homework and preparing for your exams together. It’s simply a fabulous experience, trust me. I never fail to enjoy those moments.

This year, I’m going on another journey of self-development. Besides helping my clients grow and manage their wealth full-time, I believe I still have a lot more to offer back to the society. I have quite a wholesome Financial Planning practice – conventional and Islamic, and it’s time for me to continue with my MBA next.

I’d like to become a lecturer one day, besides being a Financial Planner. Being a financial planner is my passion, my first dream, which I have already realised and living in it. Teaching is next on the list. I am not going to make a choice between the two. Tell you what I’m going to do, I’m going to have both!!! Who says you always have to choose either one? If you can stomach all, why not both, isn’t it? I believe I can.

I have already started to be a volunteer teacher to my children’s Dharma School. It is so much fun to impart your knowledge, life experience and learn from them in return. 13 year-old is a challenging age. Every week, I strive to make the class as relevant and current as possible for them to learn and have fun. Who says learning has to be dull? At the end of the class, my only wish is that they’ll learn something new to take home with them, to make their life better.

If you are already a wonderful mother and wife, but yearn to do something meaningful for yourself (e.g. baking, music, public speaking, writing lyrics,  being an author, blogging, start an on-line business), what’s stopping you, my friend? If you can get the support from family and friends, it’s even more wonderful. If not, it’s still good. You can begin this journey alone, but not for long. You’ll soon find people who share the same interests with you. If you need a cheerleader to cheer you along, you can count me in. I’m sure my reading friends here would lend a hand to cheer you on too, right? Just keep us updated here with your progress….

So, if you have one or two dreams on paper buried somewhere in your closet/drawers, bring it out again. If you have one at the back of your mind, put it on paper. I don’t know about you, I think better on paper. Make plans for it. Find out more. In this IT age, information is at the tip of your fingers, instantly! Amazing, isn’t it?

Once you have your plans on paper, if you like, discuss with your trusted friend or spouse – anyone as long as, this person is someone optimistic, honest and care about you and your happiness. This is important because this person can and will either push you to the right directions or to dash your dreams, down splat!

Now, go! All the best and always believe that “YOU CAN DO IT!”

~ Alice

Mentoring

As I see it, the fastest moving field in the world is Sales. In the sales environment (perhaps in other departments as well), we will first exposed to advice from our experienced seniors that we must be a good follower before we could become a leader. In many companies, it is called “duplication” exercise. You know, you duplicate my actions while you are still new and inexperienced. You follow everything I do and say, sales techniques, sales scripts and the whole package. “You must work hard first before you know how to work smart“.

When one is promoted to being a Manager, he or she will have to manage a group of people in carrying out their responsibilities. Steer everyone to the common path to meeting company objectives. Time changed and so did organisational behaviour. Manager is no longer seen as good as being a Leader. So, now instead of being a Manager, we become a Leader. Leader is seen as someone pro-active and you know, lead by example? Some stick to the old ways but some adopt the change. Leader aren’t afraid of change.  They are THE change agent!

More studies were done on human behaviour, job satisfaction, succession planning and what-have-yous. Then, someone wise out there discovered being a Mentor has more advantages in generating future leaders! Mentor is about relationships, personality growth and potential and skills. It requires leadership, courage and commitment from both parties, the mentor and the person being mentored, namely a protegé. It involves coaching, counselling, communication and listening skills. And of course, a lot of passion in sharing and patience. If you don’t have the last two, it’ll be a steep uphill experience for you to be a mentor. You may end up being a reluctant mentor.

As a mentor, you are a role model, cheerleader and coach combined. I think Mentor is more wholesome than Coaching too. Coaching, to my understanding and experience, is to provide guidance to you and then, allows you space to experiment and make mistakes; You must take the initiative to make adjustments along the way – I call it “a self-discovery journey“. You can count on the Coach to point out to you, when appropriate, what went wrong and explore possibilities with you, to rectify the situation. Mentor covers more than that – and it may go on more personal level too. It touches on your overall attitude, actions, personal image, business and social etiquette, etc.

It is also a bit of “duplication” but more personalised to suit your character and style of doing things. Duplication is like the copier machine, what you see is what you do. Mentoring is more of copying and improvising to suit your personality. Just like my former boss used to tell me. “Alice, to move ahead, you must always copy and improvise“. Very sound advice indeed! Learn from the successful ones but make necessary changes to suit yourself, i.e. your beliefs, personality and environment, before you apply it.

A good mentor encourages the protegé to believe that you can get to where he/she is. He/she will practice the values he/she preached – walk his/her talk. He/she is not selfish and a good role model. It is not easy being a mentor. You must have the passion to teach and guide, great patience and the ability to share what you know and can do. You must have a plan to work on to deliver better results. You must realise that every action will be copied by your protegé. So, you’d better get accustomed to this.

Of course, you can’t just mentor anybody. The person must want to be a protegé or, you’ll be pulling the reluctant horse to the water. Try that and see how difficult it can be.  A good protegé must be a willing “student”, possess self-discipline and be pro-active too. It doesn’t take a day to change, so learn well and keep up. When the goings get tough, the tough gets going. Bear with it when things go wrong. Learn from mistakes. You think it’s tough, watch how people learn kung fu!

Why mentoring? If you can be a mentor to your subordinates or your junior partners (whichever applicable), you are actually duplicating your knowledge and skills. No organisation would say no to increased skilled personnel, who can perform their works as efficiently as you. Besides, it increases productivity, the “bottom line” (sales revenues/profits) and morale of the organisation! Don’t worry about giving and losing all that you have. Of course, please don’t make a profit out of mentoring (e.g. charge your protegé!). 

If you are an employee, a model employee that is, groom a potential candidate for your position. This does not mean your junior will become smarter, take over your room and position, and kick you out. Have you ever thought the possibility of your employer knowing this, would first consider you as a candidate for promotion since you have already created a successor for your post? You’ll be free to fly higher and your department would still carry on with the new head without a hitch!

I am a firm believer of blessings from God and the Law of Universe. I also trust that what goes around, comes around – be it good or bad. Here, if you give, you’ll have some empty space for God to fill up for you. He’ll keep topping up for you if you keep giving out – with the new knowledge or opportunities, you’ll explore new grounds and progress. Just like, when your petrol tank is full, how are you going to fill it up some more, right? 

Therefore, if you keep all within yourself and refused to share just because you are afraid people might become smarter than you, you’ll end up being on the losing end. The world is so big! It’s like a huge gigantic cake. Can you stomach all of it? No way, right? You’ll have bad stomach and suffer the whole night! Share the cake then. When your protegé “graduates”, he/she will always remember this amazing “teacher” forever, and you being the proud “Mentor” watching your protegé takes flight to soar like an eagle. You have earned yourself loyalty and high respect from this person(s). You have made a great contribution back to the society. Yes, you have!

God gives us everything and He can also take them all away. When He does take away something, or you keep experiencing rough patches along your journey, we must ask ourselves, “What have we not done enough?”. Stop yourself from blaming people around us or God. There is a reason why He does that…only you can search for the answer.

It’s TGIF! For those who celebrate Easter, Happy Good Friday today and Happy Easter! For the rests, Wishing you a Wonderful Weekend.

~ Alice

PUPPY LOVE <3

Ahhh…..for those who have outgrown it, you must have that sheepish smile and glitter in your eyes as your mind takes a leisurely stroll down memory lane. For those who are much younger, if you are not so sure what it is, it’s clearly defined by Wikipedia as follows :

Puppy Love (also known as a “crush” or “calf love” even “kitten love”) is an informal term for feelings of love or infatuation felt by young people during childhood and adolescence, so-called for its resemblance to the adoring, worshipful affection that may be felt by a puppy. ‘Simple infatuation is often called a “crush” or “puppy love”. It commonly strikes those in the early teens or younger’.

I guess many prefer to call it “crush“. Like, “You got a crush on so-and-so!”. Puppy Love situation may be mutual or one-sided (the other party doesn’t share the same feeling).  When you are in “Puppy Love” mode, you tend to be more self-conscious and your behaviour may change.

You realised that your mind won’t be still or focused on your studies. You’ll keep watching the clock counting the seconds for the school bell to ring to rush home. At home, you’ll be checking your phones (cellphone and house phone) for missed call, texts and when the phone rings, you’ll be jumping and rushing to grab it before anyone else does. You’ll also lose track of time when you talk on the phone (1 hours seems like 10 mins!), resulting in abandoned school works. You might become  more mysterious and quiet around the house. No matter how much you tried, your sudden change will certainly attract your parents’ attention (trust me, they don’t miss a thing!).

I personally believe it’s okay and normal to feel attracted to others. It’s part of growing up. However, you don’t have to rush to agree to or initiate one-on-one dating activities (i.e. meeting at the mall, go for movies, meeting at the park, etc). By all means, go for group activities (with your parents’ consent, of course) like having study groups for projects or studying for exams, playing sports together,  and other healthy activities. You should not, at any one point of time, be pressured to pair off when you meet. Pairing off  (one-on-one dating) can come in later years when you are more mature, feel more confident about yourself, more comfortable being with the opposite sex and better able to handle emotional issues associated with it.

At this point of time, when you are both still attending school, acquiring knowledge must be your priority. Education and Knowledge is the foundation to a better future. You’ll have more options in life for your to choose, believe me. You also know that your parents love and concerned about you and wish to see that you make it through to high school with as few “casualties” (emotionally, I mean) as possible. Take it to heart. They mean well….

One thing you must know of Puppy Love is, it doesn’t last. You’ll outgrow that feeling as you become older and understand yourself better. Life changes all the time, so would your feelings, the way you see and understand things around you. Therefore, do take this as mere attraction, like you enjoy this person’s company more than others because he/she makes you feel good.  Treat “crush” like the one you have for Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, Britney Spears, whichever is applicable. Don’t rush to grow up…take your time and cherish every moment of your growing up years.

So, guard your heart, till you are ready to undertake the responsibilities and consequences that come with romantic relationships. Meanwhile, enjoy being with good companies (good buddies) and school!

All the best,

~ Alice

Losing our Cool – not Cool indeed

We promised ourselves to take things easy, look at the broad picture, count to 10 before we react, take a deep breath before we speak, walk away till we have cooled down and have a clear head to deal with the matter, and more.  But, why do we still lose our cool!

Well, when we are angry, most often than not, it was because we believe a wrong has been committed. Otherwise, we would not even bother to waste our breath to be mad! It is not a comfortable feeling which we want to carry around even for another minute.  It makes our blood boil, the heart race, sometimes if it is so bad, it sucks up our breath that we feel suffocated or near stroke!

But, what we perceived to be wrong may not always be correct. What if we have misunderstood the person who is on the receiving end of our outburst? We see things differently. We jump to conclusions. Sometimes, it did not even concern the receiver at all – angry about some else but the nearest person/thing will be the target. Sounds familiar?

Also, notice that when we lashed out in anger, we actually invite the other party to withdraw in silence, making a relationship gap grows wider? Don’t dismiss the fact that the way we handle anger is going to be how our children handle such situation. They watch and learn from us. Do we want them to be like us?

We must learn to accept anger and process it in a positive way. We have to find a way to communicate anger more effectively, whether it is with our spouse, children, friends, boss or a colleague. What is most important is to resolved the issue which cause the anger, as soon as possible. Just like the famous advice, “Don’t go to bed angry“.  Unresolved anger in the heart and mind breed resentment, rejection and bitterness. Everyone involved would be on the losing end if the matter is left unattended and anger brews stronger by the minute. We have to put out the fire, before it eats us up alive and makes us out of control! Yup, it sounds dead serious.

It’s time for a reality check, on the cause(s) and how frequently you have your outbursts. That would give you a clue if you really need professional help or you could deal with it on your own or with the support of your loved ones. Usually, the latter will do just fine. If we are weak, it is alright to swallow our pride, to seek help from people around us, especially our loved ones.

So, how do we do it? Try meditation, be more forgiving, be less perfect and don’t have too high an expectation over your life and that of others, which you have no control over. Be more aware of your surroundings and your breathing. I think it’s called mindfulness.

Try something different to see if you are better off with keeping your cool from here onwards.

All the best and remember, you can do it!

~ Alice

Please Be Safe on the Road

I was on my way back from the city centre this evening, when halfway through, the traffic was bumper to bumper. We then saw two police patrol cars and an ambulance sped by. Oh no, I thought to myself..there must be an accident! True enough, as I drove past, I saw a man lying motionless in the middle of the road. I felt so sad thinking that the family won’t be seeing him home tonight. I’m sure he has someone waiting for him back home.

That takes me to this point : Do you notice all kinds of driving behaviour on the road? The behaviour of drivers or motorbike riders. Some are going too slow blocking your way, some suddenly cut into your path without warning and some are too fast and impatient, all of which might cause accidents. For those who are slow, do everyone a favour, drive along the right lane. And, for those who are too fast and furious on the street, please think of your own safety and that of those using the same road as you. If one wants to change lanes, use your indicators – that’s what they are for – to let others know which direction you are heading for. I’m not going to write how all these works. We all know that or else, we would fail our driving tests and not allowed to drive at all, isn’t it?

Everyone is loved by someone. Nobody wants to see their loved ones being hurt or worst, dead. Death by accident is painfully awful because it does not prepare the family for the sudden loss nor do they get to hear last words from the deceased.

So, people, please be mindful when you are behind the wheels or riding your motorbikes. Don’t multi-task when driving. You know what I mean….the handphones and stuff.

So, please, do yourself, your family and other road-users a favour. Drive safely to your destination. If you were late, it’s just a matter of minutes. Just be truthful to the person waiting for you, call them (use your hands-free, of course) to inform that you are going to be delayed. Otherwise, plan your journey by starting out earlier. It is alright to arrive earlier. That shows your respect for time and it also shows that you respect the person whom you are going to meet.

Lastly, always be safe for yourself, your loved ones and fellow road-users.

~ Alice

Buddy Buddy

Every child of any age, coming home from school, would have a story to tell about their buddies – friends and best friends.

We need friends in this world. “No man is an island“. With friends, we get to share our happy moments, sadness, hopes, dreams, hobbies and probably, our thoughts which we might not want to share with our family members. Good friends are hard to come by. They are the ones who help us through difficult times in our lives and make us a better person.

That brings me to talk about the type of friends you choose to hang out with. You can’t deny that friends will influence the choices you make everyday in your life – the way you speak, act, you could even change your favourite lists to match that of your friends’ sometimes. Friends do have a way to make you a better person or worse….

If you hang around positive people, you will be positive as well. However, if you mix around with miserable ones, you will follow suit. Yes, those buddies you have, have such powerful influence over your life. Why? Simply because we want to be liked and fit in. We tend to follow the flow, to be accepted. Nobody enjoys being verbally attacked by some mean ones, who would resort to names calling like weirdo, nerd, phony, snob, you name it. I know the names could be worse than the ones I list here. It’s hurtful when it’s not true, isn’t it?

So how? You have a choice to make, over the type of friends you want to have around. Do a reality check on the friends you are with now. List down the buddies you have in your “group” – the ones you usually spend time with during recess, co-curriculum activities and your free time. Put a plus (+) sign next to the friends who are optimistic, jovial, caring and inspiring. Now you have it! Those with (+) signs are the ones you should treasure and be close with. When you are under “verbal attacks”, they are the ones who would step forward to offer their support to you.

You see, good buddies are the ones who care enough to see you well and happy. They would share your joy and not be jealous of your success. They are not afraid to tell you when you are wrong, instead they would also show you how to make it right. They would not take advantage of you. Somehow, they know how to make you feel better. They are also the ones who encourage you to do something right. In short, they make you a better person when you are around them.

Then, what about the ones who don’t make it to (+) sign in your list? I’m sure you feel awkward or afraid perhaps, to cut them out of your social circle. Afraid they would be unkind towards you. You don’t have to act drastically. You could still be polite but choose to spend lesser time with them. It is okay to move on. As long as you move on quietly. Do not bad-mouth anyone. I always believe that, if we don’t have anything good to say about someone, let’s not speak behind his/her back. Speak only if you have something nice to say about another person. You will win more friends this way.

Do you know that you don’t have to be the smartest, best-looking student, owning the latest gadgets, dressed in expensive brands to impress your friends or become popular? If you have the right personality, people will be attracted to you. Like bees to honey. Most people enjoy being admired by their peers.  But if you don’t happen to be popular, it’s perfectly okay.  Just be yourself, no need to try too hard to be otherwise. If you try too hard, the one who end up suffering would be you. It is tough to maintain that perfect picture you have painted for everyone to see, when it is not the real you. It stresses you out and deep down, you won’t be happy at all because you would wish upon wishes, that people like you for the real you.

While we are at that, do a reality check on yourself too. Are you a good friend to your buddies? Do you spread good words, action and thoughts to them? Are you there for them when they are down? Do you take advantage of them? If you have been a good buddy yourself, you are on the right track to building a beautiful, lasting, friendship with your friends. Everyone needs friends, now and forever.

Think again, what type of buddies do you have around now? And what kind of buddy you have been to them? Remember, you have every right to change and choose your friends, for the better. Choose quality over quantity.

May you have a wonderful week ahead.

~ Alice

A Happy Wife

Is a Good Wife, a Happy Wife? No one can really tell. Even between husband and wife, the definition differs. So, what makes a Happy Wife?

Personally, I feel that a Happy Woman makes a Good Wife. So, how do you define ‘happiness‘. We all know that it is subjective. I read a book entitled, “The Secrets of Happily Married Women ~ Dr Scott Haltzman & Theresa Foy DiGeronimo “. This is a great book! As I read, I couldn’t help but keep nodding in agreement and there are also lots of “ah-hah” factors. I truly recommend this book to all married women who want to get more out of their relationship by doing less! We could learn a thing or two from it. I did, not just two but a whole load. It made me understand why men behave, think and speak the way they do. I believe that, in any marriage, anger, frustration and the likes mostly stem from misunderstanding. Read Stephen R. Covey wrote about one of his habits, “Seek First to Understand…then to Be Understood“. When you understand this, you would not fight about who should be understood first. It’s never easy when it comes to communication and relationship. It is not impossible if you sincerely want to make a difference.

We need to understand our life partner well in order to communicate more effectively. Men look tough but they also need what we seek all the time – the emotional fulfillment. As the book says, “Men need to feel cared for, acknowledgment of their efforts, they need to protect their families, to be right and in control, have trouble verbalising love and regret, need action and have an undeniably strong attraction to females”. If you are a guy reading this, I’m sure you’re going to nod and say “yes, yes, yes!”, right?

When things go wrong, sit down with him to sort it out. “Restore some equilibrium, without going on strike. The goal is happiness, not war“. We need to focus on how we can balance out each other. If we can’t talk, we can write. I learned this from reading other relationship books. When we are hurt, mad or frustrated, our words could come out very harsh, desperately seeking understanding and validation from our partner. The tone used would somehow put the men on the defensive.  That closes the door to any further discussion. 

For some ladies, they would only start talking after they have cooled down. These are the clear-headed ones. Bravo! But, for those who are not, writing is a great alternative. After writing the first draft, read through over and over. As you do that, you’ll find that your anger starts to mellow down. You’ll also find that you continue editing the content to make it sound more gentle, seeking understanding instead of  being demanding or authoritative. With letters, your man will have no choice but the read till the end. There is no room for cutting you off mid-sentence or storming out of the room half way. Good idea, huh?

We must recognise the differences between a man and a woman, so that we don’t expect the impossible and get more and more frustrated with each other. Men are known to be of few words. He may not say the word “love” as often as you do, but he may express it by action – the offer to fetch the kids, a little massage on that aching muscles, send your clothes to the cleaner, dining out so that you don’t have to cook tonight, etc.

I’m sorry” is also expressed in similar way – via action. Instead of fuming and waiting for him to apologise, look for the message in his actions. He’ll do something for you as a way to express his regret. Actions like he offers to wash the dishes and all, so that you can take a break right after dinner. He might bring you a cup of your favourite drink, a foot rub, etc. “Try to see his feelings of love and regret, accept this method of expressing emotions and let him know that you understand the message“.

Now, what does a happy woman look like? Geraldine Bedell came up with conclusion that there are typical traits that the happiest women share, including these four : (1) Being surrounded by Friends (2) Being physically active (3) Being involved in life and (4) Being open to spirituality.

Being surrounded by Friends – As the book says, “Socialising offers opportunities for laughing, relaxing and sharing good feelings. Seek friends with positive attitude towards marriage and don’t trash your husband“. Ladies, get dressed and  out of your living room once a week. Drive out to do lunch or have chats over tea with girlfriends. You need your “Me-Time” away from house chores, kids, hubby, anything but yourself. Make time and plans. It can be done if you want it to be. Dear hubby can handle the kids, no sweat, baby! When there’s a will, there’s definitely going to be a way.

Being physically active – is a great way to be physically fit and keep off excess weight. Women who take care of themselves, feel good and confident about their bodies and are a lot more attractive to their husbands. I’d like to add – give yourself a treat sometimes, like manicure and pedicure, lovely hairdo, massage, facial, you name it. I bet you’ll feel really light and happy after that pampering session. When you feel happy and confident, you are also spreading joy within your marriage. 

Being involved in life  Get out of the house – out of yourself! Start a hobby, do something worthwhile. Say, take up knitting/cooking/grooming classes, learn a new language/piano/violin, sign up for that degree or master programme, be a volunteer, or simply read a good book! I feel that one must get out of the house to see the world, people moving past you, watch activities around you. Stay current.

Being open to spirituality – as the book says, “one of the most powerful ways for women to regain their strength and find balance in their lives is through reconnecting with their spiritual side“. This refers to your faith, for others it can be found through meditation or yoga. You’ll find that you are less stressful, more optimistic, less fearful and more balanced, not easily swayed by negativites or uncertainties.

I like this : “The happiness you’re after has been there all along; you just need to learn where to look for it. You can find happiness in your marriage without sacrificing who you are in the process. Use your inborn abilities to forge a solid and loving bond with your husband. He wants to please you. He wants to be your partner, help you meet your own life goals and become your best fan“.

These are extracts from the book I mentioned earlier “The Secrets of Happily Married Women ~ Scott Haltzman, M.D. & Theresa Foy DiGeronimo. I hope you find this post most interesting and perhaps, you’ll start doing something differently starting this minute. You’ll be in for a pleasant surprise when your hubby reacts positively to the new confident and gorgeous you.

All the best, girls. Oh yeah, if you are a guy reading this, forward this post to your other half.  Girls, the same author also wrote about “……..Happily Married Men”. I might cover that in another post. Then, it’ll be your turn to forward it to your dear hubby 🙂

TGIF & Wishing you a fab weekend!

~ Alice

Building Your Financial House

Today, let’s talk about constructing your Financial House. I would emphasize more on the Foundation and that would inevitably point to Insurance. Yes it is.

Many of us would have possessed at least a policy each, from as young as 1 month old onwards. With the recent development in the insurance industry, some babies would have gotten their policies while they were still in the mothers’ womb. Regardless of when and what, I’m glad to know that most of you had taken steps to do the right thing, i.e. to secure your lifestyle and financial future. I congratulate you!

I continue hearing from people, whom I come into contact with, about how much one really need to insure for?  How many policies should one own? Many have doubts over the benefits of insurance as opposed to the cost of insurance paid. The list goes on and on….

I would like to believe that all policies are good when it is for the right purpose. Bear in mind that Insurance = Protection. Please do not start calculating the ROI (Return on Investment). If you want investment, go for the right investment vehicle. The role an Insurance policy plays is to take over your risk (the risk you insured for), if not all, part of it, for a premium which you pay.  It is something like having a spare wheel in your car boot. You don’t need it everyday or time. You don’t even as much as glance at it. For some, you don’t even need it for years! But, just in case, you have a puncture or a flat, you know you have a spare wheel, there and then, to use so that you could continue your journey to your destination. You don’t calculate the ROI for your wheels, do you?

Take my word…I have continuously witnessed and heard from others, the invaluable benefits that this little contract (policy document is indeed a contract) offer to many families. When things go very wrong, the next thing people ask has always been, “I wonder if he has insurance” not ” I wonder if he has investment/real properties/business/etc.” Have you ever encountered this situation before?

Let’s take you to building your Financial House now, if you haven’t done it yet. I must give credit to my good friend, Danny Y. who first shared this Financial House model with me. I find this simple to understand and so does everyone I shared this with. I hope you’ll like it too.

With financial constraint, go back to basics. In constructing the “Financial House“, we take care of its foundation first. As any architect would tell you, before you build your dream home, make sure your foundation is strong first. Your health, income and lifestyle protection formed your foundation. The tools used to solve this is your Medical (Hospitalisation & Surgical), Personal Accident (if you travel around a lot) and Critical Illness (long-term/expensive medical care) insurance policies. If you already them, that’s brilliant! If not, it is alright to start with a smaller-sized policy. Remember that this is a long-term commitment. Therefore, it is most important for you to be honest and start with something you can afford. You can add on later, if health permits.  Always secure the health policies (medical and critical illness) first because they go through stringent underwriting process. It very much depends on your current health condition and medical history.

If you have more surpluses, you can start to construct your pillars and that being your savings for Retirement. Your ceiling would be Children’s Education (when you start having children) and finally your roof  i.e. Other Investment Goal.

Do have a policy review every year or when there is a major change to your financial landscape. Keep in touch with your advisor or financial planner. A good partnership between client and advisor has always been a two-way relationship. Everyone plays a pro-active role to ensure that this partnership works for long-term.

That wraps up all I want to share with you about building your financial house.

Take care and may you have a wonderful day ahead.

~ Alice