HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

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Today records the 18th year of my “married” status. I have come this far?! From a carefree young lady, with not much care of what really going on around the world to tying the knot which immediately earned me the status of a wife and years later, mother of two lovely children. Of all the hard work, one look at the children’s faces would immediately erase away years of achy muscles, wrinkles and exhaustion. Worth it!

This year, I have decided not to count anymore from now onwards and not to make a big deal out of an anniversary. Every year is a milestone reached, every year is a celebration of growth, life and love. Let’s just not expect too much from each other. Sharing our lives for so many years is good enough. When we expect too much, we expose ourselves to unnecessary stress and much disappointment. Why live life with so much stress? Just take what comes by and cherish each one of them. Life should be happier once the right expectation is set, especially for a marriage to stay on.

My parents have been married for 50 years and I can see the love in them. No marriage is perfect. Arguments, celebrations, misunderstandings, laughters and tears are the basic ingredients in all marriages. That makes life less boring. However, be careful not to let any problem sits for too long. Resolve it as soon as possible, so to reduce the degree of hurt it brings to any one or both parties.

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Love itself is a mystery. Keeping the flame of love after marriage gets more and more complicated as years gone by. Why is that so? Simply because nothing much surprises us anymore. Nothing much excites us as it used to be in the first couple of years of early marriage. However, over the years, most of us have grown up and established new goals and purpose for our families. We start to view lives from a different light. Things become more practical and realistic.

All being said, anniversary is just another day….no big hoo-hah about it. Counting the years give different people different reaction. For me, it is like the clock ticking. I feel this way because I prefer to live life a day at a time and cherish every moment in it. Life is too short to be spent counting the years and expecting lots from the spouse.

What does anniversary mean to you? How do you feel when you count year by year?

Today, I accept it as any other day. Work, chatting with friends, making people smile, hug my children, receive whatever hubby presents to me or not, watch my Korean drama, dine with family and retire for the day. Another day well-spent!

Cheers to all.

~ Alice N.

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How do I do it?!

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I sure miss penning my thoughts and sharing them with you all. Something which I enjoy doing very much. The long silence is due to heavy workload, Uni assignments and exams, and frequent traveling.

Time is most limited. I have to make the most out of the wakeful hours that I have, trying to accomplish as much as possible. Sufficient sleep is like rare gem. There isn’t time to even think of exhaustion or those tight knots on my shoulder muscles. Nothing else occupied my mind except moving forward and to the next item on my to-do list, which seems endless. Funny how it doesn’t seem to become shorter. It is either the same length or the list looks like it is growing longer by the day!

My friends are amazed at how I can manage my tight schedule. Well, truth is, I’m more overwhelmed than amazed myself. The secret is not to think about it. That keeps my sanity intact. Trying to worry or complain won’t do me any good. So, embrace and adopt the best strategies that I can think of to solve or complete a task. Delegation is key. Failing which, I just have to get down on my knees (so to say) and get it done personally and swiftly.

I once saw a great movie called “I Don’t Know How She Does It” starring Sarah Jessica Parker, and am now reading the book. As I read, I found many similarities between the main character and I. Fiction or not, the author did strike the right cords, when it comes to the life of a busy working mom who wants to do it all for her family, work, clients and friends. Proved that it doesn’t matter what or where you are. We are all the same!
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As I do not have the luxury of time, most often than not, I’d appear to be rather impatient and favour quick decision over procrastination. Procrastination is my enemy of time. It is a norm to juggle “a few balls” in the air at a time. Can say by now, I’m quite a professional “juggler“!

I wonder, should one day I find that I am free with nothing much to do, would I get cardiac arrest? My heart has been used to pumping at such a pressing condition all the time, and suddenly, it has to go on a more relaxed mode…would I drop dead, hmmm…..

I hope when the time comes, I’d be able to enjoy the slower pace of life. That I can just ease on the accelerator of my life pace without experiencing any kind of casualties. For now, I’d content myself by continuing with what I am doing, at my very best and at the same time, remember to block off a brief moment, every now and then, to sit back and enjoy the things I love to do to pamper myself and for relaxation.

Most importantly, I receive whatever life serves to me and make the most out of it. The good and the bad. Adversity is not all bad. It is full of opportunities actually. Look at the bright side and when I do so, my path will be easier to walk on. Nothing is easy and nothing is impossible. If I can’t do it, I’m sure others can do it….it is not impossible at all.

Here’s what I’ve learnt to which I’d like to share : When there is a problem or mistake, find solutions to it and move on, or in the case of a mistake, learn from it and remember it. Next time such situation pops its ugly head up, you’ll know what to do because you’ve learnt your lesson. Never ever live in denial. No one is the best, smartest, wealthiest, poorest, prettiest, meanest, etc. There is always someone else better or worse than you think you are.

So, you feel that you are great…excellent, bravo! I like that spirit and optimism! However, may I remind you to have both feet planted firmly on the ground. Continue to learn from those who are better and worse than you, so to speak. If you can, help those who are not as great as you. You’d be surprised at what you can learn in return….that is the greatest reward from giving it back to the society.

I shall end this article with a warm smile, bear hug and love to all of you. Make someone happier everyday. Make their days.

Cheers,
Alice N.

 


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