Today marked the balance of 12 months of my life in the forties. Frankly, age has always been just a number and I really mean it and live it as it is. I accept that life has its ups and downs. Nonetheless, I look forward to experimenting more new things in life, facing new challenges and of course, watching my children grow and transform. Exciting, isn't it?
That's what life means to me. To my body, however, as years advancing, I can feel that it isn't as flexible as it was some 20 years back. I'm sure you guys know that too. This doesn't apply to the younger ones, well, not yet. I have to remind myself not to spring out of bed (an old habit), not to run or turn too fast, or I'll pull a muscle or tendon or whatever. That is why I am back to the gym, combined with Pilate sessions which help a lot to keep myself fitter. I love food, therefore I exercise to eat (not a good example, so don't be like me). On a more serious note, I realize that I can't just sit and eat while idling away. People like me who enjoy good food must take great care of ourselves so that the body can serve us well…and to eat some more (hahaha)
To my mind, it seems to get stuck in the time machine where the clock stops some 30 years back…hahaha…I'm always up to monkey mischief and never fail to have fun with my teenagers. I see myself as their mother as well as a loyal and honest friend. I love and cherish the time spent with the children, mine as well as students at the school. The students are like children to me, whilst teachers are friends. I find that I learn a lot about life through their eyes and life experiences, young and the elders alike. They are amazing!
So, what makes this person (me, of course!) tick? Year after year, I learn to know myself deeper and get in touch with my inner self. I learn what I can, can't and won't do. I know what I actually like and dislike. I'm more brave and confident at speaking my mind. I understand that I can't and won't please everyone. I learn to choose who to care deeply for and who to keep at arms length. I know I can make some difference when I put my heart and soul into it. Most importantly is, whatever comes out of a sincere and caring heart, nothing could go very wrong. Decisions I made and actions taken may not please everyone but it usually serves the right recipients and purpose.
Yup, the 24 hours that you have is the same 24 hours I get. I learn to prioritize and be more selective on how I spend my time. You can call me a juggler alright. Not all are perfect. There were times when I ran around like headless chicken (yeah, happened quite a lot). I can't give much to the community that I serve, but time, brain cells and leg works! I find great pleasure in sprinkling some encouraging words when needed, splashing a friendly smile, sharing a simple meal, lending a hand here and there, exchanging ideas, imparting some knowledge…having in mind, everyone has his/her own battle to fight. Everything may look all rosy outside but sometimes it was a just brave front being worn to show the world that despite the gloomy steps ahead, there is still hope. Having said that, it would be wonderful if each of us could be kinder to the next person. We have the ability to choose to be pleasant with people around us despite having a lousy day. Who knows, that simple act may actually lift your spirit!
As much as I wish to, this year I won't be able to spend a quiet day alone doing what I enjoy doing at each Birthday, which happens to be…hanging around a mall, eat and enjoy my food in my own company then spend some time at the bookstore, reading a book while sipping a cup of Long Black then move on to having a bowl of ice-cream before heading home. That is a typical birthday for me. I enjoy the silence and not having any conversation with anyone. I enjoy reading a book, at the cafe, while sipping coffee and eating a slice of cake. I only have myself to please for that few hours. I treasure the calmness and quiet time alone.
This year is different as the first born will be leaving the comfortable and familiar nest to further his studies. We'll be flying in the next 24 hours or so but I have yet to pack or make any preparation for the long journey (except flights and hotels secured). It is my first trip to the States and I pray that it will be a pleasant one for us. Excited and anxious at the same time but I so looking forward to the journey. So, that shall be treated as my birthday celebration.
To all my lovely family and friends, thank you for your wonderful wishes. Your presence and friendship mean a lot to me. Love you all always.