Many people have misconceptions about homemakers/housewives. It is sad to note that these women are not given due recognition for their hard work or for some, due respect. Being a homemaker is an award-winning job like any others. Maybe, more than others? Worst is that they don’t draw a monthly salary nor do they have any pension plan waiting for them….there is no official retirement age for being a homemaker!
Their job specs are borderless and endless, including but not limited to these: routine household chores, family welfare, dietician, trainer, tutor, chauffeur, life coach, home nurse, chef, baker, adviser, seamstress, gardener, party planners, etc. No official one-hour lunch break, medical leave or annual leave. No public holidays too! Full-time job which covers 24×7. Break time is when one manages to find slots during the day, to get off their feet to relax for a while.
These are women, some of whom once upon a time, were professionals or carried high posts in their organizations. They chose to retire from workforce to be Stay-At-Home-Moms (SAHM) because they have different sets of priorities. They prefer to take on a more challenging job to manage their homes, by exchanging power suits with aprons, so to speak. These are very hands-on mothers. All they want is to give the best to their children by contributing their skills and knowledge to tasks at home. They want to be there when their babies take the first step, utter the first word, care for their children when they are ill, personally prepare meals for the family, send and fetch the children from schools, attend sports practice, attend Parents-Teachers meetings, so on and so forth. Some took up additional lessons in cooking, sewing, baking, languages, to complement the existing skills that they have.
Many people who have no idea what these SAHM have gone through would jump to conclusion that homemakers are very free just because they stay in the comfort of their homes. They have no bosses screaming or breathing down their necks, no mean colleagues or customers to deal with, they don’t have to drive through bad traffic to get to and back from work, no datelines to meet, they don’t have to deal with office politics, no need to work harder to remain competitive, all in a package and then, returning home to undertake another set of job.
If I may say so, there is no way to compare or measure who is doing more or less. It depends on the landscape of the family. Some more fortunate families have the luxury of delegating house chores and certain degree of childcare to third parties like domestic helpers, nannies, childcare centers and/or part-time maids. There are also “ladies of leisure”, who do not literally have to lift fingers to do domestic chores, that they spend time pampering themselves at the fitness center, spa, salons, going to clubhouse, tea rooms, parties, launches, shopping trips and vacation. I assume, these are the ones whom the working ladies are envied about….maybe not only working ladies but those who wish for this kind of lifestyle?
Whether one is a homemaker or working mom, it is your personal choice. Always give it time to grow and get into a system which works for you. Don’t waste time envying other people just because you think that their lives are better off than yours. What you see may not be the real thing. Each household has its own happy and sob stories. Just do the best that you can for yourselves and your loved ones, and be grateful for the chance you get to do as you wish.
Regardless if you are a SAHM, WFHM (Work From Home Moms), or Full-Time Working Moms (FTWM), let’s not compare who is better off. It will not do us any good but only breed unnecessary dissatisfaction, regrets and resentment. These feelings will hinder you from being happy with yourselves. The most you can do is to learn from one another. Oh yes, we can learn loads if we take the initiative to mix around and have an open mind.
Therefore, please stop passing comments that homemakers are so very free. They take offense and I don’t blame them. They work very hard, tirelessly, physically and emotionally, to provide and maintain warm and loving homes for their families. It is heartless to dismiss any one of them as someone who shake legs (lazing around) at home, watching soap operas all day long. Even if they have time for such breaks, don’t you think they deserve it after a hard day work? Everyone deserves a good break. We are only humans. Be more sensitive and tolerant of others. Be happy for those who have done well. If we don’t waste time feeling jealous of others, and use that time and energy to be productive, I’m sure we can all realize our dreams, sooner or later.
Gentlemen, be proud of your wives who are SAHM. They work hard but don’t produce progress reports. They don’t submit job sheets either. That doesn’t mean they do nothing at home. They work silently to give you peace of mind to perform your work at your best. They are the ones who ensure you have healthy food on the table, children affairs taken care of, small stuffs dealt with, provide support whenever you need it, hosts functions for your family members and colleagues, and many more. You know best. If they have weaknesses, speak to them gently and kindly. Every human has faults, as no one is perfect. There is no super woman in the real world. There is no super man either. So, it is cool be more considerate, understanding and less demanding with your other half. There’s so much one can do. Give her a break. Give her time for herself by offering a helping hand with the house chores or take the children off her hands. Pamper her…after all she is the love of your life.
~ Alice N.