It’s Not Always Sunny :) :'( :/ :D

Weather changes constantly. One minute sunny, the next pouring cats and dogs, windy, or cloudy. In all my posts, I wrote to share my thoughts and experience, maybe bringing hope and sunshine into people’s lives when they read them.

A thought just came to my mind. Life just isn’t filled with cheers but tears too. Let’s be realistic. I feel that I ought to write about some gray moments and how I cope with them. I’m only human and I do have some down times. I had gone through slumps before and I know life will continue to serve me that once in a while. When that happens, I shall allow myself to be in the slump temporarily. Then, I would tell myself, “Enough is Enough. Cut it out!“, followed by, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade out of them“. Next, start cracking my head on how to move forward. Oh yes, I do talk to myself. I find that self-talk helps a lot, especially during challenging times.

There were moments when I just wanted to crawl under the cover, hoping that the sadness/fear/hurt would pass me by, like the gray clouds being blown away by the wind. I also resorted to watching sad movies to let the tears pour out freely. It’s like draining the wretched feeling I had inside of me. When people said that crying makes you feel better, it is true! Try it and you’ll know what I mean.

During such down time, I also drown myself in books. Sometimes in novels and some in motivational books seeking guidance, inspiration and wisdom. When I allow slumps to set in, it is like validating my feeling of helplessness. But, a BIG BUT, I must not let it carry on for far too long. Embracing the sense of helplessness or sadness for a short while is fine. Not for a long period of time, or you may become melancholic. When that happens you will continue to envelope yourself in self-pity, which would suck you deeper and deeper, into a bottomless black hole. Be careful there.

When people say, “Fake It Till You Believe It“, it’s true. When I put my state of mind in forced happiness, by thinking of happy thoughts, it would automatically put a smile on my face (which I instantly feel my heart opens up like the first day break) and start thinking positive (that makes me think of any possible solutions).

Another way which worked for me was when I could see that my issue was not as bad as others I knew of or heard of, after all. What I learnt from this experience is that when we magnify our issues, it would fill our brains with demotivating thoughts! We would be strapped to the problems! Conversely, when we see that we are not so worst off, it only occupies a small fraction of our brains, leaving us more room to search for solutions!

To sum it all up :

# validate your feelings; it is alright to feel down
# allow slump time
# set the time when you want to get out of slump, as short as possible. Not more than a week, please.
# then, surround yourself with positive energy – family, friends, cheerful environment, etc. Don’t forget positive self-talks.
# get down from your high horse, ask for help. If you have to let someone takeover, so be it.
# remember that this is only temporary. The clouds and rain will clear soon. The sun will then come out again.
# have faith in yourself.

If you happen to have down time now, I hope this helps. Take it easy, pal. What goes up will come down and what gets down will go up again. Life is like that! It’s not always sunny….

Good Luck!

~ Alice N.

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