What I Learnt From My Husband

As I read my fave mag (Simply Her), I came upon this page about three ladies sharing what their hubbies taught them to do better, from living in the present, thinking positive to showing affection.

Being married for the last 16 years, I have made a lot of adjustments to my life and it is still W.I.P (work in progress). First adjustment came when I had to live with my husband (capital H.I.M.), when it was no longer about “just me and only me“. I knew then that I had to make room for “you and I” or “just the two of us” in my heart and mind. A lot of compromises were made during the learning curve. It’s like a couple not knowing how to dance, trying to learn Tango for the first time! Coordination is important, right? We can actually learn a lot from this dance….if you know what I mean.

When there was “Just US“, I learnt that I had been taking my life and family for granted! My husband taught me that life is not served on silver platter. One has to work hard for it. He did! You can’t choose your family but you can definitely choose your friends and change your fate. He taught me about determination, making choices, working for what you want,  be proactive, patience and family values.

From our status of “Just the Two of Us“, we upgraded it to “Kids and Us” or “The Fabulous Four“. Here, I learnt some more from dearest hubby. He taught me about, like it or not, disciplining children. Well, we agreed to meet halfway and learnt from each other, kinda “East meets West“. I am more for consultative approach.

He also taught me about setting higher goals. All my life, I set good goals. Like what people said, “when you aim for the sky, if you can’t reach it, you’ll usually end up on top of the tree; but when you aim for as high as the tree, if you can’t reach it, you’ll end up flat on the ground“. Or another good friend said that, “If you want 100%, you must aim for 150%! If you aim for 100%, and you can’t get it, you’ll end up below 100%. But, if you aim for mere pass, you’ll usually end up below passing mark“. Take the challenge to aim higher!

I truly admire and have high respect for my husband. He is one person who is super optimistic and mentally strong. He is smart too, not only academically, but when dealing with obstacles in life. His brain can automatically tune in, real-time, in search of the best solutions that he could come up with!  He is also very knowledgeable on current issues that he’s like my walking news bulletin! You don’t learn all these in schools/uni, but from years of experience. By watching him going through life’s challenges, it makes mine looks so small in comparison, therefore, making every one of it seems more manageable for me! He’s my Tough Guy!

I was once a perfectionist; it was him who pointed out to me that being a perfectionist would only do more harm than good, to myself and people around me. He let me make my own adjustments, not a word afterwards. That makes me love him more.

Throughout our lives together, he gives me space to grow at my own pace – academically as well as my business and I’m glad for that. He also respects any decisions I made for our children, knowing very well that I would have carefully weighed all probabilities and angles before coming to any conclusion. That happens only when he is unable to make the decision with me, but I would still notify him afterwards. Otherwise, we’d make it a point to discuss family issues. We both have to agree to it before any implementation can take place. So far, that works well for our cosy little family.

My husband also knows when to push me further, knowing my full potential. Remember, I mentioned earlier that I made good goals whilst he nudge me to set higher goals?  Just like this blog. Who has ever thought of Alice writing a blog! And, within such short 2 months, she receives more than 2000 views! Thanks to all for that 🙂

Additionally, I have friends who wondered how I managed to juggle my business, family, blog and education? Understanding, motivation and moral support from my other half is one of the main ingredients.  Whenever I asked him if I could handle another period of attending classes, all he said was and always will be, the 2-worded sentence “go ahead!“. I asked again, “Are you sure?”, and again he said “go ahead!”. Ahhh…man of few words (LOL!). When I felt unsure about my exams, he’d always announce loudly to my children that I was born to sit for exams and passed effortlessly (that’s an exaggeration, of course!). Now you understand the tagline for my exams “Failure is not an Option!“? I see myself as my children’s role model.

If you ask me, I would say one thing : My husband is someone who never gives up, no matter what. He never does things halfway. He’ll meet challenges head on. In short, he is one of the Few Good Men on earth. Cheers to him!

Enough said about my husband, what about you? Sit back and ponder, “what have you learnt from your husband”? If you are a man, “what have you learnt from your wife”? When you see your spouse in the next moment, give him/her another kiss and a bear hug.

~ Alice


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