Buddy Buddy

Every child of any age, coming home from school, would have a story to tell about their buddies – friends and best friends.

We need friends in this world. “No man is an island“. With friends, we get to share our happy moments, sadness, hopes, dreams, hobbies and probably, our thoughts which we might not want to share with our family members. Good friends are hard to come by. They are the ones who help us through difficult times in our lives and make us a better person.

That brings me to talk about the type of friends you choose to hang out with. You can’t deny that friends will influence the choices you make everyday in your life – the way you speak, act, you could even change your favourite lists to match that of your friends’ sometimes. Friends do have a way to make you a better person or worse….

If you hang around positive people, you will be positive as well. However, if you mix around with miserable ones, you will follow suit. Yes, those buddies you have, have such powerful influence over your life. Why? Simply because we want to be liked and fit in. We tend to follow the flow, to be accepted. Nobody enjoys being verbally attacked by some mean ones, who would resort to names calling like weirdo, nerd, phony, snob, you name it. I know the names could be worse than the ones I list here. It’s hurtful when it’s not true, isn’t it?

So how? You have a choice to make, over the type of friends you want to have around. Do a reality check on the friends you are with now. List down the buddies you have in your “group” – the ones you usually spend time with during recess, co-curriculum activities and your free time. Put a plus (+) sign next to the friends who are optimistic, jovial, caring and inspiring. Now you have it! Those with (+) signs are the ones you should treasure and be close with. When you are under “verbal attacks”, they are the ones who would step forward to offer their support to you.

You see, good buddies are the ones who care enough to see you well and happy. They would share your joy and not be jealous of your success. They are not afraid to tell you when you are wrong, instead they would also show you how to make it right. They would not take advantage of you. Somehow, they know how to make you feel better. They are also the ones who encourage you to do something right. In short, they make you a better person when you are around them.

Then, what about the ones who don’t make it to (+) sign in your list? I’m sure you feel awkward or afraid perhaps, to cut them out of your social circle. Afraid they would be unkind towards you. You don’t have to act drastically. You could still be polite but choose to spend lesser time with them. It is okay to move on. As long as you move on quietly. Do not bad-mouth anyone. I always believe that, if we don’t have anything good to say about someone, let’s not speak behind his/her back. Speak only if you have something nice to say about another person. You will win more friends this way.

Do you know that you don’t have to be the smartest, best-looking student, owning the latest gadgets, dressed in expensive brands to impress your friends or become popular? If you have the right personality, people will be attracted to you. Like bees to honey. Most people enjoy being admired by their peers.  But if you don’t happen to be popular, it’s perfectly okay.  Just be yourself, no need to try too hard to be otherwise. If you try too hard, the one who end up suffering would be you. It is tough to maintain that perfect picture you have painted for everyone to see, when it is not the real you. It stresses you out and deep down, you won’t be happy at all because you would wish upon wishes, that people like you for the real you.

While we are at that, do a reality check on yourself too. Are you a good friend to your buddies? Do you spread good words, action and thoughts to them? Are you there for them when they are down? Do you take advantage of them? If you have been a good buddy yourself, you are on the right track to building a beautiful, lasting, friendship with your friends. Everyone needs friends, now and forever.

Think again, what type of buddies do you have around now? And what kind of buddy you have been to them? Remember, you have every right to change and choose your friends, for the better. Choose quality over quantity.

May you have a wonderful week ahead.

~ Alice

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